Our acupuncturist and tuina massage therapist Miha is now offering online coaching sessions. Here he explores how a common barrier to good health and well-being, shame, can be met and worked with through online coaching as well as acupuncture and tai chi and quigong (which he also teaches) Coaching: From Shame to Freedom – A Holistic Journey to Healing
Shame and guilt are emotions that can quietly run our lives, but there is a way to move from shame to freedom. As a holistic therapist (Acupuncture, Massage, Tai Chi, Qigong, Coaching), I integrate ancient healing techniques with modern coaching to help you release those heavy burdens. This article will explore how holistic coaching can assist you in overcoming shame, so the pain can transform into empowerment, offering you a gentle, compassionate path to emotional freedom. How Does Shame Affect Your Life and Well-Being? Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion, often showing up as feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Whether triggered by past mistakes, societal pressures, or internalized judgment, shame can weigh us down, keeping us trapped in harmful patterns of thought and behavior. When I began my own journey of self-compassion, I realized how much shame had been quietly shaping my life. I thought I had cleared most of the debris, but during the past year, I had to acknowledge that some of my core beliefs still carried the heavy burden of shame. Once I started addressing how I related to myself and my environment, I began to experience lightness and freedom in my own life. How Can Online Coaching Help You Overcome and Release Shame? One of the most effective ways to work through shame is by acknowledging and accepting it for what it is. This may sound counterintuitive, but getting closer to the discomfort is key. In coaching, we create a safe and accepting environment. Gently embracing our vulnerabilities helps us to let those shameful parts come to light. You don’t have to carry that weight forever. Just as in Tai Chi or Qigong, where you embrace discomfort to release it, coaching helps you engage with these emotions in a safe way. Together, we identify where the stuck energy lies—those “anchors” that have held you down for years. What Is Radical Self-Compassion, and How Can It Help Overcome Shame? Radical compassion is an essential tool in the healing process. It involves offering complete self-acceptance (Maitri, in the Buddhist traditions) and kindness to yourself, especially to the parts of you that you may not like or feel most vulnerable. It’s about meeting your shame with curiosity, not judgment. I used to struggle with perfectionism, which was deeply rooted in shame. I thought that if I didn’t perform perfectly, I wasn’t worthy. Through practising radical self-compassion, I began to accept those parts of me that felt ashamed. I even gave my inner critical judge a name—the ‘shamer’—to soften the relationship with it. Think of the “Shame Bell” scene from Game of Thrones. By embracing my imperfections, I was able to release unrealistic expectations and feel a deeper sense of freedom. How Can Chinese Medicine Support Emotional Healing and Release Shame? Chinese Medicine, with its ancient wisdom, offers an almost magical (yet widely researched) approach to addressing emotions like shame and guilt. In Chinese philosophy, emotions are connected to different organs in the body. For example, shame is often linked to an imbalance in the Liver, Heart, and Kidney energy. By addressing specific organs and meridians, Chinese Medicine works to restore balance in the whole person—body, mind, and spirit—releasing stuck emotions that may have shaped your personality over time. Would you like to read more about how Acupuncture and Acupressure can help with shame? [Click here to learn more about emotional healing through Chinese Medicine.] How Can Qigong and Tai Chi Help Build Self-Confidence and Heal Shame? Both Qigong and Tai Chi are gentle, yet appropriately challenging, forms of movement that focus on unity. These practices integrate the body and mind, leading to an increasing quality of stillness and harmony. Over time, this helps form a deeper sense of self-confidence and creates a more compassionate relationship with oneself. Certain Qigong exercises are also immensely helpful in balancing internal organs, directly addressing emotional imbalances. I often suggest these practices in my coaching sessions to enhance the release of shame by engaging the body and breath. It’s not about becoming an expert—it’s about creating a safe space to practice compassion and acceptance while remaining open and reflective. How Does Coaching Help Break Negative Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism and Avoidance? Many of us develop maladaptive coping strategies to avoid discomfort, including shame. These strategies might include perfectionism, avoidance, addiction, or self-sabotage. Coaching provides a space where we explore these coping mechanisms, understand why they formed, and develop healthier ways of dealing with life’s challenges. For example, one of my clients used to be avoidant in expressing themselves to their parents. This avoidance was a shield, protecting them from vulnerability. Once they understood this, they were able to develop new habits, deepen their connection with their parents, and create a sense of compassion for their own needs and emotions. Why Is Practicing Self-Compassion Essential for Healing Shame? Self-compassion is the foundation for healing from shame. It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend or loved one. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been your own harshest critic for a long time. In our coaching sessions, we work to build your “muscles of compassion.” You’ll learn to soften your inner dialogue, forgive yourself for mistakes, and embrace your imperfections. This daily practice will help counteract the harsh inner critic that often fuels shame. We’ll also explore the core beliefs and perceptions that contribute to your inner critique, helping you see the world—and yourself—with more clarity. How Can Coaching Help You Embrace Your Authentic Self and Heal Emotionally? Coaching is an adventure of self-discovery, not just a way to fix what’s wrong. It’s about finding healthier ways to be fully present and take up your rightful space in the world. It’s about discovering the hidden parts of yourself that shame has buried. I often see a pattern where people feel they must hide parts of themselves because they don’t feel “good enough.” The truth is, when we fully embrace our shadow sides, they dissolve, leaving behind gems we can use to help ourselves and others. How Does Holistic Coaching Differ from Traditional Therapy in Overcoming Shame? Traditional therapy often focuses on talking through problems to understand the whys. Holistic coaching integrates mind, body, and spirit to help discover the what’s, that can bring about meaningful change. In our sessions, we won’t just talk about shame. We’ll explore how it impacts your body, energy, and daily life. Practices like meditation, movement, reflective writing, and energy work will support your healing journey in a practical and empowering way. How Can You Start Your Journey to Overcome Shame and Find Emotional Freedom? Letting go of shame is a journey, but you don’t have to take it alone. In our holistic coaching sessions, we’ll co-create a space where you can feel safe to explore your emotions, release what no longer serves you (overcoming shame), and step into a more empowered version of yourself. When I first began my healing journey, I didn’t realize how much support I needed. Today, as I continue working through the remnants of my shame with the help of others, I’m finding freedom in ways I never thought possible. Ready to start Overcoming Shame and Step Into Freedom with Holistic Coaching? If you’re ready to release shame and embrace a life of compassion, joy, and freedom, I invite you to explore coaching with me. Together, we’ll work to create a life where you feel empowered, whole, and inspired for the future. Do you have any questions or feel ready to rumble? [Click here to contact me for more information about coaching sessions.]
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We are lucky at WNT to have 3 fantastic massage therapists, each with a different approach. You can see Erika for relaxing, therapeutic deep tissue massage and pregnancy massage, Miha for tuina massage and Tessa for sports and remedial massage. Read on to find about more about how and why they do what they do and the love and compassion that goes into their work. Please can you share a bit about your individual approach or style of massage? What I do could probably be described as a holistic/deep tissue massage. I sometimes call it “regular massage”. My approach and intent is shaped by the interaction between nervous system and tissue. When there is mental ease and relaxation, the nervous system down-regulates and muscle tissue can ease and get space to relax. Equally massaging and manipulating the muscle tissue, using both strong firm touch and subtle touch, invites the nervous system to down-regulate and the mental tension can ease and the mind calms. I believe that a good massage is based on communication. An interchange of information between the hands of a practitioner and your tissues. That is the focus of my practice. To establish harmony and safety, in which the tissues can slowly release and reorganise to their natural form. This provides a fully personalised experience, as I prefer to be lead by what I am feeling, rather than doing the same for everyone. My massage treatments are based on Chinese Holistic Massage (Tuina) which allows me to ascertain which of your muscle pathways (following alongside the meridians) are mostly affected. This is infused by Zen Shiatsu, which brings an element of calm and restful stillness. However, when stronger touch is needed, I combine a few Osteopathic techniques with the dynamic elements of Tuina to create a deeper openings. I also have been incorporating Dissolve Therapy into my massages, which as the name states, has an incredible way of dissolving habitual tensions in both the physical and emotional body. I've been a massage therapist for over thirteen years now and have developed a style of massage that is a combination of several techniques. At the start of a massage I favour traditional effleurage and petrissage (massage strokes and kneading) with more 'pin and stretch' techniques after locating the more stubborn areas that I need to work into more deeply. I sometimes use medical acupuncture to release trigger points and to assist me with working on more than one area of the body at once. I am constantly talking to the client, checking how they are feeling and asking them to change positions so that I can access muscles from different angles. It is quite an active hour on the couch so if you are looking for a relaxing 'spa' type massage, I don't think I'm the therapist for you. What kind of clients do you mostly treat? I see a great variety of clients ranging in age from the not yet born, coming with pregnant mothers, to the very senior seniors, the eldest regular recently turned 90. Most come to me for general issues with tension and aches and pains before it has evolved into something more severe. Many clients come as a part of maintaining good health and well-being. I often incorporate my massages into my Acupuncture treatments. Thus I see a lot of clients with shoulder and back issues. Especially 'trapped nerve' presenting conditions such as sciatica. I also find it useful when supporting distressed clients. There is something magical about connecting with people through attentive, compassionate touch. I would say 85% of my clients do some kind of sport or class-based exercise. They come to see me either as part of their injury rehabilitation, for injury prevention or purely for maintenance, to help reach their optimum performance during their training programme. The other 15% come to see me for many reasons. They could be struggling with postural problems, whether that is from being hunched over a computer for hours, aching from breast-feeding or repetitive strain injuries from manual work. I see people who are recovering from surgery, struggling with decreasing mobility from issues such as a frozen shoulder or osteoarthritis. What do you enjoy about using massage to work with clients? It’s a work where love and compassion for your fellow human beings is of the essence. It’s a very enjoyable connecting through touch with a variety of people with unique circumstances helping people feel better. I also enjoy the aspect of creating a tranquil place for peace and quiet, both internally and externally. In order to enjoy busy buzzing places and living in a bustling city like London, there is a need quiet and calm to counteract that intensity. A massage session can be such a sanctuary from from all that. I love how versatile massage can be. There are many many different techniques in our toolkit. Some are good to relax the nervous system (rocking like waves), to release muscle 'knots' (dynamic deep pressure), or to open the joint spaces (passive stretches). Every treatment is fully adapted to your specific needs in that moment. Staying present with what we have is, often 'half the battle' won. There are so many elements of massage that I enjoy. It is fascinating how each person's body and skin feels absolutely unique, how I can detect a change in tissue quality from even the lightest of touch, how muscles respond and relax under my hands. I can see and feel the client's apprehension lifting, the body relaxing. There is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing someone who arrived concerned and in pain, leave looking relaxed, happier and telling me how they feel so much lighter in so much less pain. What's not to enjoy about a job which makes myself and other people feel good every working day? |
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