Coaching: From Shame to Freedom – A Holistic Journey to Healing

Shame and guilt are emotions that can quietly run our lives, but there is a way to move from shame to freedom. As a holistic therapist (Acupuncture, Massage, Tai Chi, Qigong, Coaching), I integrate ancient healing techniques with modern coaching to help you release those heavy burdens. This article will explore how holistic coaching can assist you in overcoming shame, so the pain can transform into empowerment, offering you a gentle, compassionate path to emotional freedom.

How Does Shame Affect Your Life and Well-Being?

Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion, often showing up as feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Whether triggered by past mistakes, societal pressures, or internalized judgment, shame can weigh us down, keeping us trapped in harmful patterns of thought and behavior.

When I began my own journey of self-compassion, I realized how much shame had been quietly shaping my life. I thought I had cleared most of the debris, but during the past year, I had to acknowledge that some of my core beliefs still carried the heavy burden of shame. Once I started addressing how I related to myself and my environment, I began to experience lightness and freedom in my own life.

How Can Online Coaching Help You Overcome and Release Shame?

One of the most effective ways to work through shame is by acknowledging and accepting it for what it is. This may sound counterintuitive, but getting closer to the discomfort is key. In coaching, we create a safe and accepting environment. Gently embracing our vulnerabilities helps us to let those shameful parts come to light. You don’t have to carry that weight forever.

Just as in Tai Chi or Qigong, where you embrace discomfort to release it, coaching helps you engage with these emotions in a safe way. Together, we identify where the stuck energy lies—those “anchors” that have held you down for years.

What Is Radical Self-Compassion, and How Can It Help Overcome Shame?

Radical compassion is an essential tool in the healing process. It involves offering complete self-acceptance (Maitri, in the Buddhist traditions) and kindness to yourself, especially to the parts of you that you may not like or feel most vulnerable. It’s about meeting your shame with curiosity, not judgment.
I used to struggle with perfectionism, which was deeply rooted in shame. I thought that if I didn’t perform perfectly, I wasn’t worthy. Through practising radical self-compassion, I began to accept those parts of me that felt ashamed. I even gave my inner critical judge a name—the ‘shamer’—to soften the relationship with it. Think of the “Shame Bell” scene from Game of Thrones. By embracing my imperfections, I was able to release unrealistic expectations and feel a deeper sense of freedom.

How Can Chinese Medicine Support Emotional Healing and Release Shame?

Chinese Medicine, with its ancient wisdom, offers an almost magical (yet widely researched) approach to addressing emotions like shame and guilt. In Chinese philosophy, emotions are connected to different organs in the body. For example, shame is often linked to an imbalance in the Liver, Heart, and Kidney energy.

By addressing specific organs and meridians, Chinese Medicine works to restore balance in the whole person—body, mind, and spirit—releasing stuck emotions that may have shaped your personality over time.

Would you like to read more about how Acupuncture and Acupressure can help with shame? [Click here to learn more about emotional healing through Chinese Medicine.]

How Can Qigong and Tai Chi Help Build Self-Confidence and Heal Shame?

Both Qigong and Tai Chi are gentle, yet appropriately challenging, forms of movement that focus on unity. These practices integrate the body and mind, leading to an increasing quality of stillness and harmony. Over time, this helps form a deeper sense of self-confidence and creates a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

Certain Qigong exercises are also immensely helpful in balancing internal organs, directly addressing emotional imbalances. I often suggest these practices in my coaching sessions to enhance the release of shame by engaging the body and breath. It’s not about becoming an expert—it’s about creating a safe space to practice compassion and acceptance while remaining open and reflective.

How Does Coaching Help Break Negative Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism and Avoidance?

Many of us develop maladaptive coping strategies to avoid discomfort, including shame. These strategies might include perfectionism, avoidance, addiction, or self-sabotage. Coaching provides a space where we explore these coping mechanisms, understand why they formed, and develop healthier ways of dealing with life’s challenges.

For example, one of my clients used to be avoidant in expressing themselves to their parents. This avoidance was a shield, protecting them from vulnerability. Once they understood this, they were able to develop new habits, deepen their connection with their parents, and create a sense of compassion for their own needs and emotions.

Why Is Practicing Self-Compassion Essential for Healing Shame?

Self-compassion is the foundation for healing from shame. It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend or loved one. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been your own harshest critic for a long time.

In our coaching sessions, we work to build your “muscles of compassion.” You’ll learn to soften your inner dialogue, forgive yourself for mistakes, and embrace your imperfections. This daily practice will help counteract the harsh inner critic that often fuels shame.

We’ll also explore the core beliefs and perceptions that contribute to your inner critique, helping you see the world—and yourself—with more clarity.

How Can Coaching Help You Embrace Your Authentic Self and Heal Emotionally?

Coaching is an adventure of self-discovery, not just a way to fix what’s wrong. It’s about finding healthier ways to be fully present and take up your rightful space in the world. It’s about discovering the hidden parts of yourself that shame has buried.

I often see a pattern where people feel they must hide parts of themselves because they don’t feel “good enough.” The truth is, when we fully embrace our shadow sides, they dissolve, leaving behind gems we can use to help ourselves and others.

How Does Holistic Coaching Differ from Traditional Therapy in Overcoming Shame?

Traditional therapy often focuses on talking through problems to understand the whys. Holistic coaching integrates mind, body, and spirit to help discover the what’s, that can bring about meaningful change.

In our sessions, we won’t just talk about shame. We’ll explore how it impacts your body, energy, and daily life. Practices like meditation, movement, reflective writing, and energy work will support your healing journey in a practical and empowering way.

How Can You Start Your Journey to Overcome Shame and Find Emotional Freedom?

Letting go of shame is a journey, but you don’t have to take it alone. In our holistic coaching sessions, we’ll co-create a space where you can feel safe to explore your emotions, release what no longer serves you (overcoming shame), and step into a more empowered version of yourself.

When I first began my healing journey, I didn’t realize how much support I needed. Today, as I continue working through the remnants of my shame with the help of others, I’m finding freedom in ways I never thought possible.

Ready to start Overcoming Shame and Step Into Freedom with Holistic Coaching?

If you’re ready to release shame and embrace a life of compassion, joy, and freedom, I invite you to explore coaching with me. Together, we’ll work to create a life where you feel empowered, whole, and inspired for the future.

Do you have any questions or feel ready to rumble? [Click here to contact me for more information about coaching sessions.]

We are lucky at WNT to have 3 fantastic massage therapists, each with a different approach. You can see Erika for relaxing, therapeutic deep tissue massage and pregnancy massage, Miha for tuina massage and Tessa for sports and remedial massage. Read on to find about more about how and why they do what they do and the love and compassion that goes into their work.

Also known as Facial Reflex Therapy Sorensensistem™, this is a holistic reflexology carried out on the face. It applies the same principles of foot reflexology, but rather than working on micro maps of the body on a part of you that no-one sees, Facial Reflexology Sorensensistem™ works through your most visible feature.

The face is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. Did you know there are 564 nerve points on the face?

The face closeness to the brain means that stimulus perceived by your senses take the shortest possible route to the control centre of the body to potentially address your health imbalances. It is not a case that most of our senses, vision, smell, hearing, taste, are in our face so that the messages to the brain have a short route to travel.

A Facial Reflexology session calms your mind and is deeply relaxing and grounding. We don't realise how much tension can build up in the muscles of our face, we use our face hundreds of times a day and communicate through our facial expressions. Expressed and suppress emotion may result in an accumulation of facial muscle tension, which the specific and intentional deep strokes of face reflexology may steadily dissipate - achieving a corresponding improvement in your overall health, releasing “stagnation” of blocked energy in the meridians (energy channels). In fact, many meridians, from a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective, start or end on the face, so by stimulating and activating them on the face, we address the corresponding body organs and systems including the associated emotions.
This therapeutic modality is based on Traditional Oriental Medicine and ancient facial maps of the body from Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese traditions and indigenous tribes of South America, combined with the study of modern neurology of the face and central nervous system. Through these maps and 12 major Chinese energy meridians, we aim to stimulate the brain and nerve system and initiate the healing process. Cranial lines and points are also used where appropriate.

Facial Reflexology initiate a natural improvement in the blood circulation, lymphatic drainage, muscle tone and nerve supply to the face and head. Clients frequently report an enhanced feeling of well-being – and a glowing complexion - all levels, that is, physically, psychologically and energetically.
 
Facial reflexology helped thousands of people with all sort of complains and has also proven to be very effective in helping children and adults suffering from learning and behaviour difficulties and also in the rehabilitation of patients with brain injuries and neurological problems. The therapy is appropriate for clients of all ages including children (who may respond particularly quickly) and those with a dis-ability.

What’s a session like?

A detailed health history is always obtained on your first appointment. Your current health status is assessed and a specific Facial Reflexology plan is designed for you.

A pure, natural blend of botanical oils, including Rosehip oil, is applied on the face to perform the therapy.
A course of sessions is often advised.

You don’t have to be affected by a medical condition to enjoy the benefits of Facial Reflexology. Clients frequently report a restored energetic state and an enhanced feeling of well-being, feeling calm, grounded, centred, focused and with a clearer mind, essentially “back home to themselves”– with the addition of a glowing complexion and a happier outlook. It also helps to cope with stress and keep health in optimum condition.

A session normally lasts about one hour, but can be extended to 90 minutes if an additional Facial Muscle Reflex Stimulation is incorporated.
 
Facial Muscle Reflex StimulationA dynamic facial muscle stimulation technique for lifting and toning all the facial muscles in combination with facial reflex therapy. Facial muscle reflex was developed by Lone Sorensen for facial muscle stimulation to help with recovery from neurological and brain damaged medical issues. I.e. recovering the facial muscles after stokes or for lifting the face muscles from illnesses such as Bell’s Palsy. This unique facial muscle lifting technique gives amazing results to also help smooth out wrinkles as part of a course of treatments for Facial Reflexology.

Facial and Neuro-Foot-Reflexology Bipolar Method is a special protocol of Facial Reflex Therapy for trauma, severe stress and deep emotional issues. It consists on manually stimulating different areas and points of micro-systems on the face, scalp and feet to release trauma and emotions stored in the body’s cell memory, in the limbic system and the amygdala. ​The method Lone Sorensen use is based in various microsystems with scientific studies behind Dr Yamamoto (YNSA), Japan; Dr Castillo Morales, Argentina; Dr Wong, USA; Dr Chau, Vietnam; Maria Perez, Argentina; Dr J. Bossy, France.
 
With Trauma-Bipolar Therapy, the body and brain's hormonal levels will regulate the neurobiological process and balance neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine and release anti-stress hormones. When the balance of the internal chemistry is normal, you will feel in peace within yourself and with the external world. Thanks to that, you will regain energy to be able to control your world again, feel sharp, clear, and focused.

With AI swooping in to take over many jobs and roles I feel lucky to be confident that there is nothing that compares – or could compare – to the interpersonal connection and physical contact of a massage. The relationship with your therapist is part of this, a person you share with and ask for help – this can be a vulnerable and fairly intimate action, especially when it is followed by undressing! You place your trust in the therapist and the therapist – good ones anyway – will respond by basing their massage on the information you gave them and the feedback you give them through the treatment, from direct questions about the pressure to intuitive sensing of where you are holding tension that you are not even aware of.

This relationship may be a one off or it may be one that lasts over many weeks, months and years. I have left massage sessions feeling enlivened, enthused, exhausted, delighted, excited, understood, supported, connected, soothed and sometimes pummelled 😊 Sometimes I am sore, sometimes I feel like I’m hungover the next day or two, sometimes I feel like I could run like a gazelle and sometimes like I could sleep for a week. I always get something from the session, often disproportionate to the hour that I spent having it. I learn about my body, I enjoy some rapport with some therapists and rare silence with others.
I will never stop getting massages from a good therapist and I am looking forward to getting back to the privileged position of giving them next year after a long hiatus having children and relocating.

In between massages I crave more and I also sometimes have to go longer periods between them when funds and/or time are tight so I have built up an array of things to see me through. I can do some self massage of course and often do on my forearms especially, but I often just wish it was someone else's hands and prefer to use tools, especially for getting into trickier to reach spots. These are my favourites (and links are just to show where I bought them, no affiliations!):

And now in getting the links from this blog I've spotted a foot massager so my birthday money might have a new purpose...that's one for next time!
Happy massaging!

With Karen joining us this month it felt like a good time to reflect on the range of therapies we now have on offer at WNT. It is our 10th anniversary this October – wowee 😊😊 – and over the decade we have had an alphabetic spectrum of treatments and classes from Acupuncture to Yoga with everything from Feldenkrais to Sports massage in between.

So what do we have on offer now?

Well, starting with massage where WNT began, we have a great range to choose from

Sports and remedial massage with Tessa – Advanced booking required to see popular Tessa with her highly adept intensive treatments. She works with all sorts of athletes and desk-bound bodies to help free up stubborn tensions and encourage freer, more efficient movement. Tessa really is a master of her trade working with a range of deep tissue and trigger point techniques and using acupuncture needles in some sessions.

Relaxing deep tissue massage with Erika – Erika has been in the massage business for over 20 years and her lovely strong hands work intuitively around the body, their experience meaning your body has easy confidence to relax and feel some relief. You can read Erika’s blogs and see how thoughtful, interesting and considered they are and her massage treatments are in the same vein, very nourishing.

Tuina massage with Mihaly / Mike – Mihaly (also known as Mike) is a more recent addition to our team and we are so glad he joined! Mihaly has a lovely, peaceful, warm presence and his Tuina massage is very careful and intuitive. Tuina takes placed fully clothed and works along the meridians like acupuncture (which Mihaly also practises). This is a great treatment with Mihaly since he is a natural therapist and can help you work with acute and broader issues alike, often helping with lifestyle support.

Philippa  also practises tuina massage and tends to incorporate it into an acupuncture treatment when she feels it would benefit rather than offer it as a stand-alone treatment.

And now we have another experienced pair of hands in Karen with Shiatsu. Similarly to tuina, Shiatsu works with meridians to open up stuck energy and uses stretching and pressure on points to help release and find relaxation and ease. Karen has been working in South London over the past 2 decades and her experience and skilful practice is a welcome addition to our team.

And then we have a wealth of Acupuncture on offer too, which you can read more about in our blog, Acupuncture at WNT - three different approaches, who should I see?

In brief, we have Philippa with a traditional TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) background and almost three decades of experience working in a broad range of professional settings, both privately and with the NHS. Philippa works a lot with women’s health, including menstrual issues, fertility through to post-natal recovery and menopause. Philippa’s treatments tend to be primarily pure acupuncture though she often incorporates some tui na massage into the treatment.

Mihaly is also TCM trained and his treatments tend to be more of a blend of acupuncture with tui na massage and incorporates his background in martial arts into his approach. Mihaly’s interest is in the mind-body connection and developing this this both informs and is an outcome of his practice.

Tessa uses acupuncture needles in a different way, her training is in Medical Acupuncture or Dry Needling which can be useful in treating musculoskeletal issues and helping to release stubborn tensions. Tessa uses these as an addendum to her sports massage treatments, incorporating them when she feels they’d be beneficial and the client is keen.

And then we have some other treatments which are currently all offered by lovely Laura on a Saturday:

Reflexology is Laura’s main practice, her warm and welcoming presence is popular with clients who report feeling the benefits of her kindness and empathy as well as her knowledgeable treatments. This foot treatment has an uncanny way of working on the whole body and can be profoundly relaxing and restorative as well as effective on specific aches, pains, digestive and menstrual challenges.

Reiki is another of Laura’s offerings and clients find this energetic work helpful in encouraging the body’s own healing capacity, a nourishing hands-off treatment that helps support the body emotionally and spiritually.

And last but by no means least, Laura’s other skill is in sound bath healing and she offers one on one sessions at WNT – amazing sensation having bowls placed on the body and ‘played’ so you feel the vibrations and benefit from the deeply resonating sounds. This is a pretty special thing to have on offer and worth checking out if you have never experienced it.

Welcome to the WNT team! 
What are you looking forward to about joining us?

 I enjoy being a Shiatsu and QiGong practitioner, and having practiced for many years now feel the need to be more part of a team of practitioners.
That’s why I was excited to find West Norwood Therapies and am looking forward to being a part of your friendly tribe.


You are a long established Shiatsu practitioner, what is one of your favourite things about treating people with Shiatsu?

My favourite thing, is when a person experiences a strong mind body connection and is visibly calmed and changed by it. Shiatsu combines deep pressure on meridians and points in someone ( as in acupuncture) with touch and gentle stretching which connects to their fascia and is deeply releasing.
Shiatsu & Inner Qigong are particularly effective ways to feel more connected and navigate the challenges of life, in addition to being a powerful way to address musculo-skeletal aches and pains; myofascial release of held tension and stress; improved sleep and digestion and growing an increased sense of inner calm and wellbeing.

Inner QiGong, is based on the five element, and meridian philosophy of Chinese medicine. 
It’s a simple practice which embodies the states of each element and energy, giving people a way to raise what they need through regular practice. If a client is interest I will offer them some QIGong as a way to continue working on their energetic state. If you’d like to know more, please take a look: https://seed.org/inner-qigong-tasters/

I believe people know what they need and how to move towards it once they come home to themselves. My role is to provide clear and safe connection to enable them to do this.


Facial rejuvenation sounds blissful! What do you enjoy about using that with people?

A facial treatment offers the chance to release and reset from all the held tension in the face, head, neck and shoulders. 
Using shiatsu with light oils and scents of clients' choice, hot stones and towel the treatment offers a deep relaxation. The client remains clothed, the massage with oils is for the shoulders and face. I also treat the hands and feet as part of the session to make it a full mind body experience. Guaranteed to  leave you feeling lighter and brighter.


Anything else you'd like to let people know?

An interest in a meditative approach to life started at fifteen, when I was introduced to Aikido, by a forward thinking English teacher. Aikido is a martial art based on a philosophy which focuses on harmonizing with your opponent to bring peaceful resolutions to situations involving conflict.

 It fuelled my belief that a strong mind-body connection is essential to health. Since then, meditation and experimentation have underpinned my life as a creative, in film-making and in practicing body work. Recently I completed an integrative course in coaching with WiseGoose, and feel this skill helps me  to listen to what’s going on for the client and adds to the holding of them.

I thought to share a few stories from my clinic so you can have a better understanding of what Acupuncture can help with. As well as to provide a gentle introduction to how it works.
Relief for constipation and other bowel issues is a remarkable and frequent outcome of such treatments.

Over the years I am starting to figure out that the body is truly amazing. It really is a wonderful ‘machinery’ that often needs only a little nudge in order to recover. As long as one has sufficient vital substances – Blood, Qi and Essence (talk about those in a later post) – it will recover rather quickly.

When it comes to treating bowel issues such as constipation, diarrhoea, inflammation and such Acupuncture can have a quick reliving effect – whilst it may take longer to re-establish proper internal harmony in case of chronic conditions.
One of my clients came to me recently complaining about the inability to empty their bowels properly for almost a week. Although their main complaint was different, something like this can often be incorporated into the treatment.
I used a combination of 2 points located on the Stomach channel, whilst other points were used to support the underlying conditions.

The acu-point, Stomach 37 was needled and gently stimulated. This is a point which has a strong effect on the bowels through the connection of the digestive organs of the Stomach and the Large Intestine, which is mainly responsible for the appropriate elimination and further absorption of nutrients.
As you can read in the other article -click on the link above-, it is also a majorly useful point to generally assist IBS and it’s related symptoms.

I also used acupressure on Stomach 25 which has been observed to have a very strong effect on the Intestines. Via the aforementioned connection, this point is able to strengthen and enhance the natural function of the Stomach and Spleen, which is responsible for the transportaion and transformation of nutrients.

Although I worked fairly gently on these points, the client reported having a ‘big clear-out’ the same day.
Of course, no 2 people have the exact same needs. The beauty of Chinese Medicine lies in its ability to show what needs to be done for the person in front of us in that given moment.
Sometimes the body only needs a few gentle yet precise inputs in order to start making steps towards equilibrium.

Still running
 
In my previous blog I had just taken up running regularly as a vehicle for keeping mind and mental state in good health. So here is a little update a few months along deep into mid-winter.
 
I am still running - three times most weeks, for about 40 minutes and really enjoying it. The after-effect of brightness and energy in mind and body, even if the actual run sometimes felt like hard work, is really very nice.
 
It definitely has been harder to get up when it’s dark and out of the door in the mornings during the winter. North is in my blood so temperature is not a deterrent and frosty ground a more pleasant experience than the mudslides our parks often turned into this time of the year and I also quite enjoy getting out in bad weather, better running than walking in the rain. Then afterwards it’s so nice to get back in and indoors feels lovely dry and warm. It’s more the general tiredness of January and winter with its short days, a time when, if possible, it’s okay to linger a little longer in bed and take it a bit slower.
 
This coming week, February 1st, marks the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox. This day is also called Imbolc or st Bridgids day.  From now on the acceleration in daylight per day is becoming more noticeable week by week. Amusingly, this day has lately gain notoriety due to an increased interest in old Irish and Gaelic traditions, a side effect from the many Brits looking into Irish roots in pursuit of a passport in the wake of Brexit and is now celebrated in several places in London.
 
When it comes to avoiding slipping into depression, one of the purposes of the running regime, it is obviously impossible to know and compare how I would have felt if had not been running regularly. The dread and despair that I often experience around this time of the year, so familiar and recognisable I know it will pass, like a winter season of mind, but sometimes it sticks and turns into depression. This year it feels okay.
 
The structure of running is helpful and having regular dose of joy and satisfaction from keeping up with the commitment is good mood boost but the sense of strength and vitality is the biggest benefit I experienced so far.