In the previous 2 articles we have explored how our Mind shapes our reality. We also looked at how our actions (training) can shape our mind and body.

Going a bit deeper into the psyche, I wanted to talk about the nature of Responsibility and how the patterns of our mind lead to goodwill (grace) or ill-will (shame).

Feeling overwhelmed?

I came from struggle. Not that I had any physical needs unmet. I definitely did not come from wealth, however I always head shelter and plenty of food. (At least until my uni days. :D )

However, mental struggle was my normality.

I felt overwhelmed on a daily basis. Life, or rather the people around me were too much to handle.

So I developed an avoidant relationship with responsibility.

Not to say that I was not a caring and kind child. I think those qualities have been with me and strengthened by my family and teachers over the years.

Yet, due to the overwhelm, I tried to avoid taking any additional responsibility. To the extent of having difficulty with making decisions even about what I want to eat. Indecision.

Now everyone's story is slightly different, however I see a lot of overwhelm and avoidance in my clinical practice.
We will come back to this shortly..

On Shame..

When someone feels overwhelmed, their reality becomes an unsafe environment for them. 
In such situations the brain is forced to 'think their way out' of this non-safety. It is looking for an escape route.

This seeking, or rather avoiding usually leads us down the path of shame and guilt. Being brought up in a very critical and unkind environment, naturally enhances our mental story of not being enough.

Those shameful internalised voices are further strengthened by the constant overwhelm, where we rationalize our inability of handling our 'unsafe' environment as shameful.

Often we also develop a deep desire to help those suffering around us. However as someone incapable of fulfilling their own needs, we often feel guilty for not being able to help others.

Thus we naturally start to associate our self-worth with how we feel in relation to other people.

This is crucial to understand. Our feelings have an effect on our worldview. Our nervous system is wired in a way to protect us, even if that results in us feeling shameful on a daily basis.

Children are very sensitive to suffering. And they do not have the logical understanding that it is not their responsibility to help adult figures. So the guilt deepens.

Naturally a child cannot control their environment. However as an adult, we definitely have the power to make (even if the tiniest) changes in our life.
Please keep reading on...

So how does shame and guilt affect us?

Think of yourself like your phone battery. When you go on about your day, feeling okay, your battery will slowly drain but it probably still be around a comfortable 30% when you retire to bed.

Now think of running apps on your phone. Editing videos, playing games, running an antivirus program whilst also watching a movie.

The more app you run on your phone concurrently, the quicker it will drain the battery.

Emotions and mental rumination do the same to us humans.

When we feel unsafe in our environment, the mind automatically keeps running an (antivirus) app to scan for danger around us.

Whenever a threat is found, our mind will start (Google) searching for all the possible reasons of how it might hurt us.

Then our brain has to come up with a copying mechanism. 
So the brain runs another app for distractions (Netflix or social media) or even a special app for dissociation (avoidance of sensations and emotions). 

All of these further and further drain our energy, and feed into our mental story of 'I cannot do anything about it'. A.k.a, Mental despair.

Naturally when one is overwhelmed and also exhausted, they will find ways to avoid further responsibility. Including looking after themselves.

Goodwill or ill-will?

I had a mini-breakthrough after listening to one of Ajahn Brahm's (Buddhist monk) talk on ill-will and compassion.

It is so obvious, yet easy to miss:
Entertaining shameful thoughts is an act of ill-will.

It is literally an activity which results in our own direct suffering, or the indirect hurt we cause to other people around us.

It is as simple as that. We must find omni-directional kindness within ourselves, in order to reduce the suffering (us and them).

Grace is defined as courteous good will.

Some Christian traditions define it as unmerited favour, kindness, and mercy. 

In Buddhism, a close equivalent may be compassion. The resolve to connect and accept one that may or may not be favourable to us.

In my opinion, regardless if you are a person of faith or not, Grace or compassion is the way for us to resolve those deeply engrained patterns of ill-will.

Thus, it is our primary responsibility to look after ourselves. As that is the only way we can truly care for others.

How can we get there?

Faith has been an options for thousands of years.
Today you also have a choice to seek helps from others to strengthen your muscles of compassion.
Looking to feel better in your body?

Please reach out by email to enquire about your first Holistic Coaching session!

Available both in person and online.

How can Tai chi help to build resilience and confidence?
 
As a therapist of  the Eastern arts, I have come across many modalities that help people grow, become more confident, resilient and overall content with their life.
I am generally fascinated by both psychology, medicine and eastern philosophy. Yet, what I would call the most powerful tool in my toolbox would -hands down- be Tai chi.
 
It is a martial art that goes way beyond the martial and directly creates a reflective experience where healthy resilience naturally grows.
 
Resilience is the fruit of effort. The work resulting in mental, physical and emotional strength and pliability, leading to self-confidence.
 
One of the fundamental aspects of Tai chi is the engagement of the mind within the body.
 
So how does it help us build resilience?
 
When you practice the art, you are asked to leave all other thoughts and feelings behind. Instead, allow the mind to saturate into the flesh. This develops mindfulness of the body.
 
When you go through the practice of body opening/loosening, it requires sustained mental effort to meet your discomfort. To look compassionately and intimately towards your own limits. Maintaining awareness and acceptance. This develops mental fortitude.
 
During the standing meditations, you first of all create a structure which you must hold for a period of time. Within this structure you relax and release the muscles, thus your habitual tensions. You experience sensations and connections that you have never felt before. This creates a change in your perception and gently pulls you out of your general one-sided thinking. Opening the mind and body.
 
In both seated and standing meditation, you work on maintaining your focus in one physical/energetic location. This develops attention and one pointed focus.
 
Whilst practicing the form/moves, your brain will keep shouting and shaming you for not doing it correctly. You are forced to face your critical self and develop a new, compassionate relation with it. This develops your character, balance and coordination.
 
The constant effort to maintain awareness in the body, whilst experiencing a multitude of sensations, both pleasant and unpleasant, builds a doorway to your nervous system, which you have control over once you have developed enough awareness
 
You can choose to fight it, flee from it or simply accept it for what it is. This builds direct resilience in the nervous system.
 
You see, it is very difficult to get through life without resilience.
 
But we are so lucky to have a tool (and I am sure there are others out there as well) which builds:
 
- the strength and resilience of mind,
- the fortitude and flexibility of the body,
- the stillness and openness of the heart
 
Whilst also balancing our energetic body and the nervous system.
 
Furthermore, throughout the partner drills we also have the opportunity to work on how we relate to one another. How we respond to the touch, emotions and thoughts of others. This is a big part of developing resilience.
 
Thus, we become strong and kind towards our internal and external environments. This is true resilience.
 
Maybe now you can understand why my passion lies so deep in this art.. :)
 
Looking to build resilience into your life?
I am currently running 2 beginner friendly courses in Crystal Palace:
 
Mondays: 18:30 – 19:30
Tuesdays 18:00-19:00
 
- Small groups of around 8-10 people
- Hands on corrections
- Always welcome to ask questions
 
Investment: £12.50 per class
Location: Kin Wellbeing studio and Crystal Palace Osteopaths

Excited to try something new to change and/or grow resilience in your life?
 
Please email me at
[email protected]
Or WhatsApp me on:
07308889603
 
Looking forward to meeting many of you at class,
Miha

Continuing our series focusing on all the treatments we offer at WNT this time we are focusing on 'Other Treatments' - read on to find out about what these are and the practitioners who offer them. (And see our earlier focuses on Acupuncture and Massage)
Our interviewees here are:
Veronica Massa - Facial Therapist extraordinaire
Laura Devonshire - Reflexologist, Reiki and Sound healing practitioner
Miha Rosta - Acupuncturist and Holistic Coach (here with his holistic coaching hat on)

Coaching: From Shame to Freedom – A Holistic Journey to Healing

Shame and guilt are emotions that can quietly run our lives, but there is a way to move from shame to freedom. As a holistic therapist (Acupuncture, Massage, Tai Chi, Qigong, Coaching), I integrate ancient healing techniques with modern coaching to help you release those heavy burdens. This article will explore how holistic coaching can assist you in overcoming shame, so the pain can transform into empowerment, offering you a gentle, compassionate path to emotional freedom.

How Does Shame Affect Your Life and Well-Being?

Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion, often showing up as feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Whether triggered by past mistakes, societal pressures, or internalized judgment, shame can weigh us down, keeping us trapped in harmful patterns of thought and behavior.

When I began my own journey of self-compassion, I realized how much shame had been quietly shaping my life. I thought I had cleared most of the debris, but during the past year, I had to acknowledge that some of my core beliefs still carried the heavy burden of shame. Once I started addressing how I related to myself and my environment, I began to experience lightness and freedom in my own life.

How Can Online Coaching Help You Overcome and Release Shame?

One of the most effective ways to work through shame is by acknowledging and accepting it for what it is. This may sound counterintuitive, but getting closer to the discomfort is key. In coaching, we create a safe and accepting environment. Gently embracing our vulnerabilities helps us to let those shameful parts come to light. You don’t have to carry that weight forever.

Just as in Tai Chi or Qigong, where you embrace discomfort to release it, coaching helps you engage with these emotions in a safe way. Together, we identify where the stuck energy lies—those “anchors” that have held you down for years.

What Is Radical Self-Compassion, and How Can It Help Overcome Shame?

Radical compassion is an essential tool in the healing process. It involves offering complete self-acceptance (Maitri, in the Buddhist traditions) and kindness to yourself, especially to the parts of you that you may not like or feel most vulnerable. It’s about meeting your shame with curiosity, not judgment.
I used to struggle with perfectionism, which was deeply rooted in shame. I thought that if I didn’t perform perfectly, I wasn’t worthy. Through practising radical self-compassion, I began to accept those parts of me that felt ashamed. I even gave my inner critical judge a name—the ‘shamer’—to soften the relationship with it. Think of the “Shame Bell” scene from Game of Thrones. By embracing my imperfections, I was able to release unrealistic expectations and feel a deeper sense of freedom.

How Can Chinese Medicine Support Emotional Healing and Release Shame?

Chinese Medicine, with its ancient wisdom, offers an almost magical (yet widely researched) approach to addressing emotions like shame and guilt. In Chinese philosophy, emotions are connected to different organs in the body. For example, shame is often linked to an imbalance in the Liver, Heart, and Kidney energy.

By addressing specific organs and meridians, Chinese Medicine works to restore balance in the whole person—body, mind, and spirit—releasing stuck emotions that may have shaped your personality over time.

Would you like to read more about how Acupuncture and Acupressure can help with shame? [Click here to learn more about emotional healing through Chinese Medicine.]

How Can Qigong and Tai Chi Help Build Self-Confidence and Heal Shame?

Both Qigong and Tai Chi are gentle, yet appropriately challenging, forms of movement that focus on unity. These practices integrate the body and mind, leading to an increasing quality of stillness and harmony. Over time, this helps form a deeper sense of self-confidence and creates a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

Certain Qigong exercises are also immensely helpful in balancing internal organs, directly addressing emotional imbalances. I often suggest these practices in my coaching sessions to enhance the release of shame by engaging the body and breath. It’s not about becoming an expert—it’s about creating a safe space to practice compassion and acceptance while remaining open and reflective.

How Does Coaching Help Break Negative Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism and Avoidance?

Many of us develop maladaptive coping strategies to avoid discomfort, including shame. These strategies might include perfectionism, avoidance, addiction, or self-sabotage. Coaching provides a space where we explore these coping mechanisms, understand why they formed, and develop healthier ways of dealing with life’s challenges.

For example, one of my clients used to be avoidant in expressing themselves to their parents. This avoidance was a shield, protecting them from vulnerability. Once they understood this, they were able to develop new habits, deepen their connection with their parents, and create a sense of compassion for their own needs and emotions.

Why Is Practicing Self-Compassion Essential for Healing Shame?

Self-compassion is the foundation for healing from shame. It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend or loved one. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been your own harshest critic for a long time.

In our coaching sessions, we work to build your “muscles of compassion.” You’ll learn to soften your inner dialogue, forgive yourself for mistakes, and embrace your imperfections. This daily practice will help counteract the harsh inner critic that often fuels shame.

We’ll also explore the core beliefs and perceptions that contribute to your inner critique, helping you see the world—and yourself—with more clarity.

How Can Coaching Help You Embrace Your Authentic Self and Heal Emotionally?

Coaching is an adventure of self-discovery, not just a way to fix what’s wrong. It’s about finding healthier ways to be fully present and take up your rightful space in the world. It’s about discovering the hidden parts of yourself that shame has buried.

I often see a pattern where people feel they must hide parts of themselves because they don’t feel “good enough.” The truth is, when we fully embrace our shadow sides, they dissolve, leaving behind gems we can use to help ourselves and others.

How Does Holistic Coaching Differ from Traditional Therapy in Overcoming Shame?

Traditional therapy often focuses on talking through problems to understand the whys. Holistic coaching integrates mind, body, and spirit to help discover the what’s, that can bring about meaningful change.

In our sessions, we won’t just talk about shame. We’ll explore how it impacts your body, energy, and daily life. Practices like meditation, movement, reflective writing, and energy work will support your healing journey in a practical and empowering way.

How Can You Start Your Journey to Overcome Shame and Find Emotional Freedom?

Letting go of shame is a journey, but you don’t have to take it alone. In our holistic coaching sessions, we’ll co-create a space where you can feel safe to explore your emotions, release what no longer serves you (overcoming shame), and step into a more empowered version of yourself.

When I first began my healing journey, I didn’t realize how much support I needed. Today, as I continue working through the remnants of my shame with the help of others, I’m finding freedom in ways I never thought possible.

Ready to start Overcoming Shame and Step Into Freedom with Holistic Coaching?

If you’re ready to release shame and embrace a life of compassion, joy, and freedom, I invite you to explore coaching with me. Together, we’ll work to create a life where you feel empowered, whole, and inspired for the future.

Do you have any questions or feel ready to rumble? [Click here to contact me for more information about coaching sessions.]

We are lucky at WNT to have 3 fantastic massage therapists, each with a different approach. You can see Erika for relaxing, therapeutic deep tissue massage and pregnancy massage, Miha for tuina massage and Tessa for sports and remedial massage. Read on to find about more about how and why they do what they do and the love and compassion that goes into their work.

I thought to share a few stories from my clinic so you can have a better understanding of what Acupuncture can help with. As well as to provide a gentle introduction to how it works.
Relief for constipation and other bowel issues is a remarkable and frequent outcome of such treatments.

Over the years I am starting to figure out that the body is truly amazing. It really is a wonderful ‘machinery’ that often needs only a little nudge in order to recover. As long as one has sufficient vital substances – Blood, Qi and Essence (talk about those in a later post) – it will recover rather quickly.

When it comes to treating bowel issues such as constipation, diarrhoea, inflammation and such Acupuncture can have a quick reliving effect – whilst it may take longer to re-establish proper internal harmony in case of chronic conditions.
One of my clients came to me recently complaining about the inability to empty their bowels properly for almost a week. Although their main complaint was different, something like this can often be incorporated into the treatment.
I used a combination of 2 points located on the Stomach channel, whilst other points were used to support the underlying conditions.

The acu-point, Stomach 37 was needled and gently stimulated. This is a point which has a strong effect on the bowels through the connection of the digestive organs of the Stomach and the Large Intestine, which is mainly responsible for the appropriate elimination and further absorption of nutrients.
As you can read in the other article -click on the link above-, it is also a majorly useful point to generally assist IBS and it’s related symptoms.

I also used acupressure on Stomach 25 which has been observed to have a very strong effect on the Intestines. Via the aforementioned connection, this point is able to strengthen and enhance the natural function of the Stomach and Spleen, which is responsible for the transportaion and transformation of nutrients.

Although I worked fairly gently on these points, the client reported having a ‘big clear-out’ the same day.
Of course, no 2 people have the exact same needs. The beauty of Chinese Medicine lies in its ability to show what needs to be done for the person in front of us in that given moment.
Sometimes the body only needs a few gentle yet precise inputs in order to start making steps towards equilibrium.

Is diet just about what you eat?
Sluggishness (especially) in the mornings;
Heaviness of body and mind;
Bloating;
Loose, sticky stools;
Swelling;
Weight gain.
These are only a few symptoms of Dampness in the body.

Damp.. what?

Imagine a clear beautiful river  gracefully flowing through a forest. Now what if this river is being filled with debrish? It slowly becomes cloggy and turn into dirty mud.

The most common cause for this muddiness to develop in the body is improper DIET.

Excessive intake of fried, greasy, raw food; as well as alcohol, sugar, dairy, and even meat may result in the symptoms described above.

However before removing unhealthy, overly processed foods from the diet, it’s important to intorduce new, appropriate foods in your diet.

On the picture you may see a simple stir-fry dish, perfect for lunch or even breakfast -accompanied by some soup or tea.

Bitter and slightly pungent/aromatic food  like kohlrabi and romain lettuce are excellent at transforming congealed body fluids.

Add some radish and leeks in order to strengthen the Lungs (Metal/Autumn) and clear any damp/phlegm that may reside there.

Kidney -especially Aduki- beans are great source of protein in this case. Complementing the dish I also used garlic, thyme and parsley to help clear excessive mucus.

To make this dish more seasonal, add some water and cook it on low heat. In order to introduce the sour balancing flavour of autumn (Metal) you may finish your dishes by  squeezing some lemon/lime juice over them.

Making small changes in the diet is an excellent tool for becoming more healthy over time. However if an already developed illness (or any of the symptoms above) are present, acupuncture treatment may be especially beneficial in order to address those issues.

Please note that we always advise patients to see a professional Acupuncturist in order to determine the accurate diagnoses, which allows us to make personalised recommendations.

For any seriously health concerns please see your GP.
#diet #damp #acupuncture #bloated #sluggish #autumn

ow important is it to have the right food on your plate?

I usually see a divide amongst my friends and clients when it comes to diet and food.

Some people just eat for the joy of it, not caring much about if they eat a lot of carbs or meat. Whilst other people can be “almost” obsessive about what they eat. May that be superfoods, very specific vegetables and meat, etc.

So what is the correct attitude to diet?

Well, I of course could not give a simple answer to such an important question. Especially as I am not a dietician.
However when it comes to Chinese medicine, we always strife for balance. Walking the middle path.

Sure, it is important to have a varied diet -according to both food energetics, colours, food groups- but I find it much more important to look at how people eat and digest.

In my experience, our mental health and eating habits combined has a much stronger effect on our digestion and general health than the types of food we eat. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that we should all eat white bread, milk and sugar 3 times a day. I am referring to the fact that if you have a varied intake of vegetables, fruits and meats/nuts, you should not worry too much about whether it is organic or not, or how many superfoods and brown rice you include in your diet.

What is important then?

1. Structure and rythmn
It is generally important to follow a rythmn in our daily life. Structuring our days around our meals and sleep can provide with a healthy l. So we priorities ourselves, our nourishment amongst other responsibilities.

2. Rest
Taking breaks between meals (3-4 hours) gives our digestive system a rest, as opposed to continuous snacking which will overwork our Spleen and Stomach.

3. Focus /mindfulness
Eating should be about the food and our nourishment. The taste, texture, colour, smell of our food should be in the focus of our mind when we eat. Not TV, Netflix, news, daily tasks or plans for the week.
Let’s do ourselves a favour and eat mindfully. Just when we decide on the food we eat, we should apply the same mindfulness during our time of nourishment.

4. 2/3
There is a Chinese saying that you should only fill your belly 2/3 of the way, so there is space for Qi to do the digestion.
Overeating is overtaxing on our digestive system. Finding the correct amount of food that does not leave us hungry, but also doesn’t makes us sleepy is essential.
5. Fluids
It is important to drink plenty of fluids during the day, however it is best to avoid drinking with our meal. If you have a weak digestion, you may find it beneficial to drink digestives 20 minutes prior to your meals. Or if your meal seems to settle in heavy (lots of fats/oils) you may find drinking a (half) shot of clear spirit (I recommend Bison vodka for flavour 😛) also very beneficial.
On a different note. There seem to be a misconception about the amount of fluid we all need to drink. Generally speaking of we want to hydrate ourselves we have to include fluid-ful vegetables in our diet. Soups, curries, tomatoes, courgettes, etc.

6. 100 steps
Digestion does not stop when we finish eating. On the contrary. It’s fairly important that we rest after a meal for about half an hour. The Chinese has been recommending 100 slow steps after eating. As (slow) walking aids the intestinal movements (peristalsis) and thus digestion.

7. Avoid going to bed on a full stomach
Simple as that, we should not be wasting our energy on digestion whilst we are sleeping. More over, it is most beneficial to have a bigger gap (intermittent fasting) in our day when our digestive system is to rest.

8. Anxiety = IBS
Last but not least, looking after our mental health is perhaps the most important of tasks that we need in order to have a healthy digestion. I’ll talk about this more in detail another time.

So these are only a few points that are in my opinion are just as (if not more) important than the quality of the food we eat.

Thus if you are suffering with any digestive issues, you may find it beneficial to go through this list before you start cutting out your favourite foods.

Of course Acupuncture is an amazing tool to help/reset the digestive system. So if you feel you need some additional support in that regard. Do not hesitate to get in touch.

Happy Eating!