In the previous 2 articles we have explored how our mind shapes our reality. We also looked at how our actions (training) can shape our mind and body.

Going a bit deeper into the psyche, I wanted to talk about the nature of Responsibility and how the patterns of our mind lead to goodwill (grace) or ill-will (shame).

Feeling overwhelmed?

I came from struggle. Not that I had any physical needs unmet. I definitely did not come from wealth, however I always had shelter and plenty of food. (At least until my uni days. :D )

However, mental struggle was my normality.

I felt overwhelmed on a daily basis. Life, or rather the people around me were too much to handle.

So I developed an avoidant relationship with responsibility.

Not to say that I was not a caring and kind child. I think those qualities have been with me and strengthened by my family and teachers over the years.

Yet, due to the overwhelm, I tried to avoid taking any additional responsibility. To the extent of having difficulty with making decisions even about what I want to eat. Indecision.

Now everyone's story is slightly different, however I see a lot of overwhelm and avoidance in my clinical practice.
We will come back to this shortly..

On Shame..

When someone feels overwhelmed, their reality becomes an unsafe environment for them. 
In such situations the brain is forced to 'think their way out' of this non-safety. It is looking for an escape route.

This seeking, or rather avoiding usually leads us down the path of shame and guilt. Being brought up in a very critical and unkind environment, naturally enhances our mental story of not being enough.

Those shameful internalised voices are further strengthened by the constant overwhelm, where we rationalize our inability of handling our 'unsafe' environment as shameful.

Often we also develop a deep desire to help those suffering around us. However as someone incapable of fulfilling their own needs, we often feel guilty for not being able to help others.

Thus we naturally start to associate our self-worth with how we feel in relation to other people.

This is crucial to understand. Our feelings have an effect on our worldview. Our nervous system is wired in a way to protect us, even if that results in us feeling shameful on a daily basis.

Children are very sensitive to suffering. And they do not have the logical understanding that it is not their responsibility to help adult figures. So the guilt deepens.

Naturally a child cannot control their environment. However as an adult, we definitely have the power to make (even if the tiniest) changes in our life.
Please keep reading on...

So how does shame and guilt affect us?

Think of yourself like your phone battery. When you go on about your day, feeling okay, your battery will slowly drain but it probably still be around a comfortable 30% when you retire to bed.

Now think of running apps on your phone. Editing videos, playing games, running an antivirus program whilst also watching a movie.

The more app you run on your phone concurrently, the quicker it will drain the battery.

Emotions and mental rumination do the same to us humans.

When we feel unsafe in our environment, the mind automatically keeps running an (antivirus) app to scan for danger around us.

Whenever a threat is found, our mind will start (Google) searching for all the possible reasons of how it might hurt us.

Then our brain has to come up with a coping mechanism. 
So the brain runs another app for distractions (Netflix or social media) or even a special app for dissociation (avoidance of sensations and emotions). 

All of these further and further drain our energy, and feed into our mental story of 'I cannot do anything about it'. A.k.a, Mental despair.

Naturally when one is overwhelmed and also exhausted, they will find ways to avoid further responsibility. Including looking after themselves.

Goodwill or ill-will?

I had a mini-breakthrough after listening to one of Ajahn Brahm's (Buddhist monk) talk on ill-will and compassion.

It is so obvious, yet easy to miss:
Entertaining shameful thoughts is an act of ill-will.

It is literally an activity which results in our own direct suffering, or the indirect hurt we cause to other people around us.

It is as simple as that. We must find omni-directional kindness within ourselves, in order to reduce the suffering (us and them).

Grace is defined as courteous good will.

Some Christian traditions define it as unmerited favour, kindness, and mercy. 

In Buddhism, a close equivalent may be compassion. The resolve to connect and accept one that may or may not be favourable to us.

In my opinion, regardless if you are a person of faith or not, Grace or compassion is the way for us to resolve those deeply engrained patterns of ill-will.

Thus, it is our primary responsibility to look after ourselves. As that is the only way we can truly care for others.

How can we get there?

Faith has been an options for thousands of years.
Today you also have a choice to seek help from others to strengthen your muscles of compassion.
Looking to feel better in your body?

Please reach out by email to enquire about your first Holistic Coaching session!

Available both in person and online.

How can Tai chi help to build resilience and confidence?
 
As a therapist of the Eastern arts, I have come across many modalities that help people grow, become more confident, resilient and overall content with their life.

I am generally fascinated by both psychology, medicine and eastern philosophy. Yet, what I would call the most powerful tool in my toolbox would -hands down- be Tai chi.
 
It is a martial art that goes way beyond the martial and directly creates a reflective experience where healthy resilience naturally grows.
 
Resilience is the fruit of effort. The work resulting in mental, physical and emotional strength and pliability, leading to self-confidence.
 
One of the fundamental aspects of Tai chi is the engagement of the mind within the body.
 
So how does it help us build resilience?
 
When you practice the art, you are asked to leave all other thoughts and feelings behind. Instead, allow the mind to saturate into the flesh. This develops mindfulness of the body.
 
When you go through the practice of body opening/loosening, it requires sustained mental effort to meet your discomfort. To look compassionately and intimately towards your own limits. Maintaining awareness and acceptance. This develops mental fortitude.
 
During the standing meditations, you first of all create a structure which you must hold for a period of time. Within this structure you relax and release the muscles, thus your habitual tensions. You experience sensations and connections that you have never felt before. This creates a change in your perception and gently pulls you out of your general one-sided thinking. Opening the mind and body.
 
In both seated and standing meditation, you work on maintaining your focus in one physical/energetic location. This develops attention and one pointed focus.
 
Whilst practicing the form/moves, your brain will keep shouting and shaming you for not doing it correctly. You are forced to face your critical self and develop a new, compassionate relation with it. This develops your character, balance and coordination.
 
The constant effort to maintain awareness in the body, whilst experiencing a multitude of sensations, both pleasant and unpleasant, builds a doorway to your nervous system, which you have control over once you have developed enough awareness
 
You can choose to fight it, flee from it or simply accept it for what it is. This builds direct resilience in the nervous system.
 
You see, it is very difficult to get through life without resilience.
 
But we are so lucky to have a tool (and I am sure there are others out there as well) which builds:
 
- the strength and resilience of mind,
- the fortitude and flexibility of the body,
- the stillness and openness of the heart
 
Whilst also balancing our energetic body and the nervous system.
 
Furthermore, throughout the partner drills we also have the opportunity to work on how we relate to one another. How we respond to the touch, emotions and thoughts of others. This is a big part of developing resilience.
 
Thus, we become strong and kind towards our internal and external environments. This is true resilience.
 
Maybe now you can understand why my passion lies so deep in this art.. :)
 
Looking to build resilience into your life?
I am currently running 2 beginner friendly courses in Crystal Palace:
 
Mondays: 18:30 – 19:30
Tuesdays 18:00-19:00
 
- Small groups of around 8-10 people
- Hands on corrections
- Always welcome to ask questions
 
Investment: £12.50 per class
Location: Kin Wellbeing studio and Crystal Palace Osteopaths

Excited to try something new to change and/or grow resilience in your life?
 
Please email me at
[email protected]
Or WhatsApp me on:
07308889603
 
Looking forward to meeting many of you at class,
Miha

From a February fug to a spring in her step, acupuncturist Philippa Summers reflects on what matters to her in her life and what resources she can draw on to live her optimum life

Feeling Like Spring
 
Light spills over the hills
Winter becomes a fable
Here are the flames of spring
The flickering March to April
 
                                        Lemn Sissay

I don’t mind the winter. Being out in all weathers often makes me feel more alive, but this year the cold, wet, dreary weather seemed to drag on. Not much in the way of cheer in the news either, to put it mildly.  It brought on an introspective February Fug. I know I wasn’t alone in feeling that way.
 
So where do we look for the support and resources when our inner world feels a bit wintry? What are the things that help to keep us grounded, inspired, uplifted and connected, and what helps to sustain us. We are all different and we will all need different things at different times. What are those things for you?
 
When I thought about this for myself I was drawn to noticing the things that make up the tapestry of my daily and weekly routines and how they create this fabric of support, connection and sustenance. It is easy to take these things for granted. Mine is filled with friends, family, meals together, cooking, gardening and the allotment, Brockwell Park in all its glory, nature, films and books. A particular focus of the last few months has been generally getting fitter and building strength so going to the gym and swimming are now also firmly on the list. I have gone from pushing myself to do them, to carving out time for them.
 
That routine is peppered with variation and excitement like bright beacons of light, a meal with friends, bookclub, Gin club(!), poker nights, a night out dancing and moments of spontaneity, exploration and curisosity. Together they create a balance of sociable and quiet times, some reflection but not too introspective.  It’s a gratitude list of sorts and a reminder to notice and acknowledge the things that nourish us, make time for them and to reach out and connect.  I deliberately chose not to focus on the bigger events like holidays.
 
Thinking back to that February Fug feeling. There were a couple of specific bits of advice and support that I found especially helpful. One was a reminder from my husband not to judge any feelings, not to label them as good or bad, not to fight them or try to make them go away, just notice and accept them and let them be there. Maybe to observe them with curiosity.
 
The other from a friend was an app recommendation, Insight Timer, which presents a varied selection of mindfulness, meditation, yoga Nidra, relaxation and breathwork resources . There are guided exercises and short sequence programs with some wonderful presenters. If you are looking for something you can use at home to build a meditation habit or help you to de-stress and relax then do check it out. Thanks for the recommendation, Angie!
 
And of course, the change in weather and season certainly helps. The sun is out, spring is springing up, the birds have that frisson of excitement in their chirrups, green shoots are appearing and the swans in Brockwell are on their nest.  The fug has lifted and life has a spring in its step. I hope you feel it, too.

Also known as Facial Reflex Therapy Sorensensistem™, this is a holistic reflexology carried out on the face. It applies the same principles of foot reflexology, but rather than working on micro maps of the body on a part of you that no-one sees, Facial Reflexology Sorensensistem™ works through your most visible feature.

The face is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. Did you know there are 564 nerve points on the face?

The face closeness to the brain means that stimulus perceived by your senses take the shortest possible route to the control centre of the body to potentially address your health imbalances. It is not a case that most of our senses, vision, smell, hearing, taste, are in our face so that the messages to the brain have a short route to travel.

A Facial Reflexology session calms your mind and is deeply relaxing and grounding. We don't realise how much tension can build up in the muscles of our face, we use our face hundreds of times a day and communicate through our facial expressions. Expressed and suppress emotion may result in an accumulation of facial muscle tension, which the specific and intentional deep strokes of face reflexology may steadily dissipate - achieving a corresponding improvement in your overall health, releasing “stagnation” of blocked energy in the meridians (energy channels). In fact, many meridians, from a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective, start or end on the face, so by stimulating and activating them on the face, we address the corresponding body organs and systems including the associated emotions.
This therapeutic modality is based on Traditional Oriental Medicine and ancient facial maps of the body from Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese traditions and indigenous tribes of South America, combined with the study of modern neurology of the face and central nervous system. Through these maps and 12 major Chinese energy meridians, we aim to stimulate the brain and nerve system and initiate the healing process. Cranial lines and points are also used where appropriate.

Facial Reflexology initiate a natural improvement in the blood circulation, lymphatic drainage, muscle tone and nerve supply to the face and head. Clients frequently report an enhanced feeling of well-being – and a glowing complexion - all levels, that is, physically, psychologically and energetically.
 
Facial reflexology helped thousands of people with all sort of complains and has also proven to be very effective in helping children and adults suffering from learning and behaviour difficulties and also in the rehabilitation of patients with brain injuries and neurological problems. The therapy is appropriate for clients of all ages including children (who may respond particularly quickly) and those with a dis-ability.

What’s a session like?

A detailed health history is always obtained on your first appointment. Your current health status is assessed and a specific Facial Reflexology plan is designed for you.

A pure, natural blend of botanical oils, including Rosehip oil, is applied on the face to perform the therapy.
A course of sessions is often advised.

You don’t have to be affected by a medical condition to enjoy the benefits of Facial Reflexology. Clients frequently report a restored energetic state and an enhanced feeling of well-being, feeling calm, grounded, centred, focused and with a clearer mind, essentially “back home to themselves”– with the addition of a glowing complexion and a happier outlook. It also helps to cope with stress and keep health in optimum condition.

A session normally lasts about one hour, but can be extended to 90 minutes if an additional Facial Muscle Reflex Stimulation is incorporated.
 
Facial Muscle Reflex StimulationA dynamic facial muscle stimulation technique for lifting and toning all the facial muscles in combination with facial reflex therapy. Facial muscle reflex was developed by Lone Sorensen for facial muscle stimulation to help with recovery from neurological and brain damaged medical issues. I.e. recovering the facial muscles after stokes or for lifting the face muscles from illnesses such as Bell’s Palsy. This unique facial muscle lifting technique gives amazing results to also help smooth out wrinkles as part of a course of treatments for Facial Reflexology.

Facial and Neuro-Foot-Reflexology Bipolar Method is a special protocol of Facial Reflex Therapy for trauma, severe stress and deep emotional issues. It consists on manually stimulating different areas and points of micro-systems on the face, scalp and feet to release trauma and emotions stored in the body’s cell memory, in the limbic system and the amygdala. ​The method Lone Sorensen use is based in various microsystems with scientific studies behind Dr Yamamoto (YNSA), Japan; Dr Castillo Morales, Argentina; Dr Wong, USA; Dr Chau, Vietnam; Maria Perez, Argentina; Dr J. Bossy, France.
 
With Trauma-Bipolar Therapy, the body and brain's hormonal levels will regulate the neurobiological process and balance neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine and release anti-stress hormones. When the balance of the internal chemistry is normal, you will feel in peace within yourself and with the external world. Thanks to that, you will regain energy to be able to control your world again, feel sharp, clear, and focused.

I have taken up running again, this time conducted as a little experiment to see how - or if - it affects my state of mind. Bluntly put, I’d like to see if it works to combat depression.
 
My state of mind has been a bit low and dull, feeling uninspired and finding it hard to make decisions as well as difficulty concentrating. Perhaps that’s normal sign of ageing or symptomatic of my lifestyle with increased screen time and social media indulgence.
 
According to psychiatrist Anders Hanson, running 30-45 minutes 3 times a week at 70% effort for at least 6 weeks would create changes in the brain that help with depression. My understanding is that there is a substance produced in the hippocampus and cerebral cortex in the brain called BDNF (Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor) that protects, repairs and stimulates new brain cells. Having low levels of this substance is associated with depression. Medication increases these levels as does exercise.
 
I have taken antidepressants in the past and found them helpful to some extent but not really making much difference long term and at this point it doesn’t feel necessary to seek them out.
So, after finding a book on my bookshelf in the great unread section by Dr Anders Hansen writing about the benefits exercise in general, and running in particular, has on the brain as well as hearing him speak on Rangan Chatterjee’s podcast, Feel Better Live More, episode 38, I decided to give it a go. A simple explanation for these  benefits is that our biology is still more in line with being a hunter gatherer and not suited for the abundant, convenient world we now live in. Shorter sessions of 20-30 minutes would also make improvements in the functions of the brain such as memory and creativity.
 
The plan is to work up to the 45min sessions and keep it up for 6 weeks and see how I feel and then keep going with three times a week 30-45min sessions. It sounds a realistic and doable plan to have and curious to see how this will take me through the winter. No doubt shorter days and harsher weather will be a bit of challenge.
 
Luckily, I have always liked running when I’m fit enough and I enjoy the striding movement. It’s a nice way to explore an area be it park, wood or neighbourhood. It is also a very accessible and simple way to exercise. No need for fancy memberships, class schedules or expensive equipment. Just put shoes on and go. I like the freedom of that.
 
I am now 4 weeks in and it is a joy. Perhaps it’s the lovely, mild autumnal weather that brings a pep to my step. Starting out being in general good health and having a comfortable walking gait has been helpful (don’t run before you can walk as the saying goes) in having making it very pain free so far. Not focusing on speed or distance makes it very carefree.
 
The first two weeks I went for 20-30 min sessions and this last week increased it to 45 min a couple of times.

As to how my mind is: Feeling a lot more inspired than I did a couple of weeks ago, but if that is down to the actual running or to setting and following a plan it’s hard to say. Having an intention with what you do, whatever it is, is also one of these things in life that can shift the mood.

At a recent party on a chilly evening in the garden I asked a friend in a strappy dress if she was warm enough, she lightly replied “Oh, yes, I have my own personal weather system”. Made me chuckle but menopause is no laughing matter. Some women sail through but for others the symptoms can be unbearable and debilitating and can take a huge toll on just about every aspect of life.  It can be a time when women feel at a loss with the changes that are happening to them, bewildered by them.  Getting the balance between seeing them as a medical issue and a transformative time of adjustment can be helpful in easing women through this phase of life with greater serenity and joy, with a combined approach offering great benefits.
 
Among the most common symptoms are hot flushes, night sweats, mood changes, tiredness, vaginal discomfort, loss of libido and brain fog, but it affects women very differently and you may experience a range of other physical, mental and emotional symptoms. They can start as women enter the perimenopausal phase, often in their mid 40s, sometimes earlier, usually but not always accompanied by changes in their menstrual cycle.
 
From a medical perspective getting diagnosed is the first step to understanding the changes you are going through and finding solutions that suit you, including HRT.  The options can be simple with far reaching benefits. Finding the right choices for you will not only help you to feel better but importantly also help to protect your future health, particularly cardiovascular and bone health.
 
From a lifestyle perspective nutrition, exercise, sleep, relaxation and strong social and emotional connections provide the foundations for your wellbeing, regardless of whether or not you take HRT. Acupuncture can also play a supportive role in helping women ease through the transition, connecting mind with body, with proven benefits for some of the associated symptoms including hot flushes, low mood and anxiety, poor sleep, aches and pain.
 
I have included a link to a resource with a wealth of info at the end, including medical, lifestyle, social and political info. Now, for an overview of exercise and then a brief focus on swimming, our topic for this summer newsletter, in relation to menopause.
 
Exercise
From perimenopause onwards physical activity can help to prevent muscle loss which occurs naturally as we age, support a healthy weight reducing the risk of chronic disease and improve cardiovascular, respiratory and bone health. Exercise will build strength, support the joints and alleviate the aches and pain, and the mood enhancing benefits of exercise can help in the way we perceive pain. Additionally, it can help with sleep and generally help you to feel better. If you have specific health issues that limit your activity then seek appropriate advice and support.
 
As a guide try to get about 30 minutes of moderate exercise 5 times a week but if you are new to exercise then start light with 10 mins a day and build up gradually.
 
Aim for a combination of exercise each week:

• Aerobic exercises for cardio (dancing, brisk or up-hill walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, water aerobics, tennis, climbing stairs)
• Strengthening exercises for muscles, bones and joints (weight machines, rowing machine, hand-held weights, resistance bands or body weight exercises like yoga, pilates, squats, lunges and press ups).
• Stability and balance exercises (yoga, tai chi and pilates, sitting on an exercise ball, standing on one leg)
• Stretching exercises to maintain flexibility of joints and fascia, maintain range of motion, improve posture and reduce pain (yoga, tai chi and pilates).

Cold water swimming is anecdotally very helpful to relieve hot flushes and some of the other symptoms of menopause.  It has proven stress relieving and anxiety reducing benefits which can last for several days, and also helps immunity.  We are fortunate to have Tooting and Brockwell Park lidos on our doorstep. During the winter especially, they are places with a strong sense of community and camaraderie. If you intend to swim into the winter months then start swimming during the warmer summer and autumn months so that you can gradually acclimatise. As the temperatures cool check out the cold water swimming guides so that you adjust safely and do not overdo your exposure to the cold.

More Information
If you are seeking more information the Balance-Menopause website, set up by menopause specialist Dr Louise Newson, is a good place to start for understanding more about the perimenopause  and menopause and finding support, with an app to track symptoms if you wish.  Their mission is to make menopause support inclusive and accessible to everyone globally, with some extremely useful free resources. If you have symptoms then seek out a menopause trained specialist to confirm diagnosis and guide you through treatment choices - HRT, alternative options and lifestyle advice all have a role to play.

We have five main senses that we all are likely to be very familiar with and three or four lesser known senses. These are connected to sensory organs.

Our main senses:
                                     Vision  - eyes                                     
Touch - skin
             Hearing - ears             
Smell - nose
Taste- tongue
 

The lesser known senses are perhaps just ones that have not been incorporated into everyday thinking about senses. There are several and it varies depending on how much you break them down into finer systems and functions.
 
Balance – the vestibular system – tells us whether we’re in equilibrium or not, and whether we’re in motion or not. We have the inner ear to thank for that one.
The sense of pain – nociception – is nerve or tissue damage felt in the skin, joints, bones, and internal organs.
Proprioception or position
Temperature
There is also interoception related to how things feel on the inside for example  blood pressure, sense of stretch in the bladder
 
Through external sensory input our brains interpret nerve signals and conjure up a picture that gives us all a unique view of the world.

Colour adds a dimension to seeing and we all experience colour differently. The artist Cezanne described it as where the brain and the universe meet. Practicing a wider sensory awareness will create a richness in life and is useful to bring calm and presence.

A simple way to bring to ground yourself and reduce anxiety is tuning into the five main senses:
 
What can I see: looking around, pick large or small items to focus on, try to notice the colour, texture, and patterns.
What can I touch: notice skin whilst taking palm to palm, fabric of clothes, any object you can pick up and touch, putting hand (or body) into water.
What do I hear: near, far, from different directions and volume.
What can I smell: you can bring things to your nose but also notice if and what you can pick up from the air.
What do I taste: if you don’t have anything at hand think about distinct flavours as you remember them like lemon, coffee, something sweet,
 
Noticing and observing the sensations from the surroundings brings you into the space and present to the moment. It also orientates you into the now, geographically and in time. In addition it will also subtly enrich and broaden any experience.

With anxiety we are away worrying about what may or may not happen, sometimes completely fictional but the fear appears real. Becoming present in the moment this way aids the distinction between factual and fictional fears. For example; good to hear a car approaching whilst out walking rather than being away in the mind somewhere else, worrying about things that might or might not happen. 
 
Since we have a focus on water and swimming with our blogs from West Norwood Therapies this summer, a suggestion from me is to bring your senses into interactions with water. Apart from taste for obvious reasons.  When immersing into water notice the sensations on the skin, sense the texture, temperature and scent. The sea water is very different to a lake or pool in texture, scent and colour.
Listen for the sounds both being in, under and around water.
If you are by the coast, gaze out at the offing, where the sky meets the ocean. Pay attention to the sounds  sounds and smells and you can have an awe-inducing full body/mind experience.
Observe water move - be it waves of the sea, swirling brook, big water fall or rain is mesmerising and meditative, adding the sound and smell of it the experience swells.
Stepping out just after rain, scenting the petrichor brings calm and joy.
 
Bring your senses to your summer water adventures and see if it will increase experience of awe and joy.

Trying to have babies when it doesn’t just happen easily can be a heart wrenchingly difficult time.  There can be months even years of trying, balancing hope with uncertainty, even at times despair.   Another cycle starts.  Is this going to be your lucky month?
 
When supporting women with fertility I tend to focus treatment on the follicular phase leading up to ovulation, or in the case of IVF through the stimulation phase until egg collection and at embryo transfer.  These are the times that research has shown acupuncture can have a significant influence on live birth rates (Zheng, 2012). Treatments around embryo transfer, when they can be scheduled in without adding extra stress, are also shown to have a beneficial effect on outcomes (Smith, 2019).
 
Ideally, men and women would also have received some preconceptual lifestyle advice during the preceding months, not least of all to support egg and sperm quality as they develop and mature.  Treatment can be aimed at regulating the menstrual cycle, supporting endometrial development and addressing other issues impacting on fertility.  Treatment during the follicular phase will be aimed at supporting the processes that take place throughout the menstrual cycle including the luteal phase but what about treatment during the actual luteal phase or the two-week wait as it is commonly known, which follows ovulation or embryo transfer?
 
How can Acupuncture help?
As I have said, I tend to focus most treatment during the follicular phase but that does not exclude treatment during the luteal phase. It is a time to be cautious with any treatments that could disturb the delicate interplay between the embryo and uterine lining around the time of implantation, but treatments aimed at relaxation and good sleep can be positively beneficial.   It is often an anxious time when every little twinge seems to take on some significance.  An acupuncture treatment can offer a gentle wind down from the intensity of IVF or the pressures of trying naturally, at a time when sound sleep and a feeling of calm may be quite elusive.
 
How can you support yourself during the two week wait?
The preparations you have taken in the preceding months, weeks and days will help to lay the foundations but here are 10 tips to support implantation and help through these two weeks:
 

1. Get plenty of rest and sleep. Try one of these Yoga Nidra exercises for sleep.
2. Eat nourishing anti-inflammatory food. Lots of fresh fruit and veg, good quality protein, nuts and seeds, healthy fats and wholegrains.  
3. Avoid sugar, processed and junk food as much as possible.
4. Include some live fermented foods – yoghurt, sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha, kefir etc - or take a probiotic.
5. Ease up on strenuous workouts, moderate exercise is fine even beneficial.
6. Avoid excess heat on the abdomen (no hot baths, saunas or hot water bottles on the belly).
7. Avoid googling and trying to second guess the meaning of everything you feel.
8. Take time to sit quietly, and just notice how you feel. Take a few breaths into your belly to help your thoughts settle – longer on the out breath. Notice any sensations you feel in your body, without attaching any significance.  Just notice and let them go.
9. Distract yourself with a few things to look forward to. A catch up with friends, a film, a creative project, a good book.
10. Don’t be tempted to test too early. Wait until the first day of your missed period or until advised by your fertility clinic.

 
Good luck. Remember that even under perfect conditions there is only a 1 in 4 chance of conceiving each month, so it can take a while. Please contact me if you think I may be able to help you.

This week is international ‘Happiness at Work’ week and it got me thinking about why I started West Norwood Therapies in the first place. To be happier at work!

I always loved my work as a massage therapist and now that I’ve not been practicing for a while I really miss the interaction with clients, working one-to-one with people in that way is a special thing. I loved the practical side of massage, of finding areas that needed attention and working on them to help bring relief and often insights for the client as to what was contributing to discomfort or what could help them in day to day life. There is an element of problem solving and the happy place where science meets art - this is really a blissful state for me when I find that balance. I loved the conversations that arose during that time together and the trust that built up over months and years of working with people. I loved the variety of personalities, of bodies, of challenges and of energy.

I’m using the past tense ‘loved’ as if my massage days are over! When really, as my volcano mad son says, I am just in a dormant phase and am keen to become active again soon.

Despite all of this interaction and variety working with clients, being a massage therapist can be a lonely job. You are always in the therapist role with clients, however friendly the interaction becomes. And unless you seek them out you can lack peer support. I worked in several clinics where I rented the room to see clients and I met other therapists there, but I felt like there was an opportunity for a more cohesive, shared working environment.

And so West Norwood Therapies was born. The idea was that this would be a collaborative collective and we would all contribute to the environment and running of the place and we would have regular meetups to offer one another peer support and become a network and team.

It’s our 7th birthday in October, a fact that makes me very happy indeed! And I feel even happier that the concept of a collaborative collective feels so collaborative and like such a collective now. Our team has evolved over the years and the shrinking of it with the closure of the studio room last year was a trauma that our smaller team has come through and I feel that we are now stronger than ever.

I am happy in my work and I am grateful for the team that makes this possible. Over that long gruelling winter lockdown we had weekly check-ins which were a bit like group therapy, we all opened up and supported one another. This has made us closer and sharing our vulnerabilities has given us a resilience that we couldn’t have achieved without.

Next weekend I’ll be in London for the first time since coming down to clear out the studio last summer. I am excited to see my lovely colleagues and have a meeting together to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next, to share and to plan, to celebrate and to look at what we have learned. I know it will be interesting, helpful, collaborative and fun. I am a lucky ducky to be in this position and I highly recommend opening yourself up to the possibility of strong work relationships and the happiness at work these can bring.

4 years ago, my name finally came to the top of the allotment waiting list. It was a mess of cooch grass, weeds and dumped bits and pieces. I feel in love with it straight away, and it quickly be-came my happy place. It has been hard work, frustrating at times and mud under the fingernails and osteopathy are not an ideal combination. As we went into the first lockdown of 2020 it really kept me going and became a place that was essential for my wellbeing. I had more time on my hands than I have had in many years but no seedlings or plants and no option to by any. I decided that it was time to put the small propagator that I had bought 2 years ago into operation. I bought a selection of seeds online and set to work. Choosing the seeds was a combination of things I like to grow, what was available and wishful thinking.

Seeds were sown and I waited, I have a very small but much appreciated garden and really en-joyed using the space for sowing seeds potting on, and “designing” what was going where. It was a place of calm and when the world felt chaotic and uncertain. Having the time to think about the layout of beds helped to keep me focused and grounded, digging and weeding took on a new zeal as it was time out of the house when there was very little opportunity to do much else apart from work. In years gone when time was short; I have bought what I can get my hands from garden centres and shops to plant out so quite haphazard about things. Last year I thought more about colour, variety and protecting my seedlings and plants from foe like foxes, slugs, snails, and pigeons (more on that later). Checking my plants became a daily relaxing ritual. Go-ing to the allotment most days became my regular exercise, quietly whiling away the hour(s) out-doors and feeling relaxed whilst forgetting albeit temporarily about the pandemic was blissful. Our allotment is not pretty, it’s my higgledy piggledy happy place and its design is ever changing and forces me to accept what I cannot change (the elements, pests, dud seeds) and keep trying new things.


Yinka runs her osteopathic clinic from her home in Brixton and online yoga classes. Visit her website at https://www.holmewoodosteopathicpractice.co.uk/ and find her on instagram @theosteopathyogi