I turned 60 recently and was very excited to receive my wonderful London Oyster card and find out that I now qualify for free prescriptions but wanted to find out what other positives there are about reaching this milestone and while searching the internet was informed that it is a time of ‘celebration of resilience, wisdom and possibility’.                                                                              
 
As far as resilience and wisdom go this may be true, as by this age, we have had decades of experience dealing with sometimes challenging situations that we have hopefully managed to overcome.
 
Possibility however, will really depend on our financial security and physical ability. If we are fortunate to have a mortgage-free home, a good pension and with that, some spare cash, we can happily embrace a work-free future and spend more of our leisure time on hobbies, holidays and fitness. Ah yes. Fitness. This is the most important thing of all, as without it, possibilities may be limited.
 
From the age of 30 our bodies start to change. We start to lose lean tissue, muscles start to atrophy (3-5% per decade) and we see an increase in fat. Bones may start to weaken, skin starts to thin, joints start to stiffen and we start to lose height as the discs in our spine begin to dry out.
 
So what can we do about it?

I see a lot of clients who are over 60 and I am pleased to say that the majority of them have realised that they need to take their physical health more seriously.
 
According to current figures the average life expectancy is 81 for women and 79 for men (longer in more affluent areas) so when we turn 60, we can expect to live for another 20-30 years. Therefore we need to be able to move, have balance and be strong. Now is the time (if we haven’t already) to implement changes to save our bodies.
 
Fitness doesn’t have to be an expensive business.

• Walking. Walking is free, good for you and if you join a hiking or rambling club, also sociable.

https://www.ramblers.org.uk/go-walking/ramblers-groups/south-bank-group

• Running. No equipment needed apart from a pair of running trainers, love of the outdoors and some will power!

If you would like to start running and would like a very friendly beginners course, the Dulwich Park Runners run two courses a year in March and September. Members receive a 10% discount on Sports Massage at West Norwood Therapies.
https://www.dulwichparkrunners.co.uk/

• For something a little more challenging, why not look at Windrush Triathlon Club

Where you can run, cycle and swim with a friendly, encouraging bunch. They run weekly training sessions and also get a 10% discount at West Norwood Therapies.
https://windrushtri.co.uk/

• Cycling. A fantastic and inexpensive way to keep fit as you can always pick up a fairly decent second hand bike or borrow one from a friend if it’s for an occasional ride. Take a look at this website if you don’t know where to start.

https://tfl.gov.uk/modes/cycling/cycle-skills

• Gym. Join the local council gym who have vastly reduced swimming sessions, exercise classes, and gym access. Active Lambeth offers a 15% discount to over 60’s (£43.85 per month) while Better offer a discount from age 66. If you are unstable on your feet, Active Lambeth offers a couple of chair-based exercise classes and aqua aerobics.

 
If you can afford it, I would really recommend finding a Personal Trainer and seeing them twice a week. If only once, ask them to design a simple exercise programme that you can either do at home or in the gym (with a few bands or hand weights) a couple of times per week.
 
If you think you can’t, look for concessionary seniors classes connected to local libraries, hospitals and community centres.

• Swimming. Have a few swimming lessons if you need them and then take yourself to the local pool or to one of London’s fabulous lidos.

 

• Pilates. If you book a block it can be cheaper and you will be going regularly so it is worth the investment. I would suggest that if you are new to Pilates, you choose a mat class rather than a reformer class. The reason being, if you have a weak core, you will learn the foundations of how to engage and strengthen it in a mat class. Whereas, the reformer equipment moves on springs and if you have little core strength to start with, this can be challenging and occasionally dangerous (you could fall off).

It is a good idea to find out the qualifications of a practitioner. At least a Level 4 in mat and reformer.

• Yoga.  Again check the qualification of the instructor. Do some taster classes to find out what kind of yoga is for you as there are many types. Yin (more stretching) to Vinyasa Flow (faster moving) and others in between.

 
N:B if you have been diagnosed with, or suspect you may have, hypermobility please inform your teacher as it is very easy to over-stretch tendons and end up with injuries.
 
Class Pass gives access to many different classes from gym to yoga and a two week trial costs £1. https://classpass.com/walkthrough/getclasspass

• Walking Football and Walking Netball

Great for those who are new to the sports or have previously played but are returning from injury or want something less stressful on the joints.
There are a few teams in South London
https://thewfa.co.uk/directory/pride-of-lions/
https://www.englandnetball.co.uk/play/walking-netball/

• Tennis, Padel and Pickle Ball

All of these court based sports are a lot of fun but can be expensive (padel for sure). And, if you are a beginner, it is very easy to get over enthusiastic and play too often.
Although they are wonderful fun and great for aerobic fitness, they can cause knee, hip and shoulder issues as there is a lot of ‘stop/start’ movement which puts stress on the joints.
https://www.lta.org.uk/support-centre/competing/competing-in-padel/what-is-the-gb-seniors-padel-tour-and-how-can-i-enter/
 
By keeping strong we will have increased mobility and energy to really benefit from the free oyster card travel to galleries, museums, parks across London, visiting friends and family and trying different exercise classes. AND greatly reduced the need for those free prescriptions.
 
Tessa Glover
Clinical Sport and Remedial Massage Therapy
ISRM/BTEC (Level 5) Professional Diploma
07966 473738

Frankincense as a ritual tool.
Rituals are ancient and found in all cultures in human history around the world. Pagan or religious, rituals and ceremonies have marked important milestones, cycles and events in the lives of our ancestors and can help us today to reconnect to values, to nature, to ourselves and the divine in a way that has been lost in time.

Rituals and ceremonies for Rite of Passages, such as coming of age like the First Moon (Menarche), for Closure and Beginnings like deaths, births, healing, marriage or separations, to celebrate the harvest or a new season, to crown the new king or queen with the anointing of the ‘Chism Oil’ - these all express a desire to honour and bring the sacred into our life.

When we are in ceremony we enter a profound connection with ourself and Source, whatever that means to us. We experience a glimpse of our divinity. We bathe in the bliss of eternity as we alter our consciousness and we perceive ourself as soul beings, as part of something bigger. Ceremony holds the mystery of eternity that unfolds the experiencing of our divinity.

Rituals nourish the soul, nurture healing and support our spiritual growth.

In ancient Egypt rituals were a daily sacred task performed in the temples with mystical aromatics like Frankincense, age old incense, used by many civilisations. Aromatic fragrances, ritual and the divine in ancient Egypt were inextricably interconnected.
"Scents were believed to originate from the gods, to have sprang from their eyes or their bones, in particular the eyes of the sun-god Ra" - Lise Manniche.
Sacred Scents were believed to be a link to become ‘one’ with the Divine, to be the very fragrance of the gods, derived from the sacred essence of gods, from their particular manifestation.

FRANKINCENSE
Frankincense has been described as the 'golden resin of the sun'. Spiritual and holy, Frankincense is evocative of ceremonial rituals from the land of the Pharaohs, it fills your space with the mystical scents of an ancient temple, bringing the sacred from the distant past into your present life. The history of the precious Frankincense resin can be traced back through ancient texts.

Revered by the ancient Egyptians, considered as valuable as gold, incense was central to the worship of the deities of the Ancient Egyptian Pantheon and large quantities of Frankincense  were burned every day in temples throughout Egypt. Olibanum, “the substance being conducive to a divine state” is documented in many hieroglyphic texts and it was listed as one of the seven sacred oils in temple rituals. Believed to help the soul of the deceased to find its way to the spiritual world, it was also found in the tomb of the young pharaoh Tutankhamun.

Frankincense is fundamental in my daily meditation, rituals and ceremonies, to open sacred space, purify my energy and cleanse the room, inviting blessings and protection and open the connection with self and the Divine. It immediately grounds me and connects me with source when the mundane feels too distracting and overwhelming.

Frankincense resonates at a high vibrational frequency, and yet it grounds you deeply on Earth while connecting you to the Divine. It provides spiritual protection, purification and energetic transmutation, dissolving the illusion of separation between the physical and spiritual realms. Centering and uplifting, it enhances focus, alertness and clarity.

PURIFICATION RITUAL WITH FRANKINCENSE
Fire Ceremonies are incredibly powerful to release the old and heavy, to burn away that which is holding us back from expressing all that we are fully and shining our light vibrantly.

Fire has the powerful ability to transmute energy and transform it. To transcend dense and disharmonious energies into resonant ones.

In many cultures and traditions, Frankincense, burned as sacred smoke, is believed to have the power to protect, purify and transmute heavy, negative energies.

For cleansing and purification purposes, the smoke of the burned resin can be smudged on yourself, your space, or any object you intend to purify by passing these objects through the smoke of burning frankincense. There ancient incense can be burned for DAILY MEDITATION, PURIFICATION, BLESSINGS & PROTECTION.

HOW TO BURN FRANKINCENSE
To release its scent the frankincense is burned over hot coals. The bamboo coals provide a natural alternative to standard commercial charcoal which contains saltpeter and interferes with the scent and therapeutic benefits of the frankincense.
Place the coal inside a censer or a small ceramic bowl, or anything that can tolerate heat. Once the coal is completely light up and white, place a piece of resin on top of it. Just a small tear of resin will produce enough scented smoke that will linger for hours. More resin can be added if needed.

FRANKINCENSE IN CEREMONY
In my Sacred Sound Ceremonies and healing sessions I integrates the ancient Temple Tradition of Sacred Aromatics.
One of my very favourite ceremonies is the Sound Journey with Sacred Frankincense Purification Ritual.

A Sacred Smoke Smudging Ritual is performed in preparation for entering the Inner and Outer Temple in this Sacred Sound Ceremony, using the sacred smoke of the Frankincense resin, green Hojari Frankincense (Boswellia sacra) from Oman and sacred instruments to clear our body on a cellular level as well as our energetic and electromagnetic fields.
In this ritual we offer sacred smoke to our own divine being and body temple. I instruct you how to perform this purification ritual, a skill you will take home with you.

This vibrational re-calibration will reset your unique energy signature to its original resonance. Both the sound frequencies and sacred scents have been used since ancient times for purification and healing purposes. Sacred smoke was offered to the gods and goddesses in ancient Egypt temple rituals; they believed these scents to be derived directly from the gods and be a link to become ‘one’ with the Divine.
A cascade of sounds from gongs, crystal singing bowls, flutes, chimes and other instruments then immerse you into a transcendental experience as set and promoted by the Frankincense.

Source: https://sothistemple.com/royalgreenhojarisacrafrankincenseresin
To learn more about Frankincense visit  https://sothistemple.com/sacredoilssoulessence/sacred-hojari-frankincense
and https://sothistemple.com/sacredoilssoulessence/sacred-hojari-frankincense
Source: https://sothistemple.com/royalgreenhojarisacrafrankincenseresin
 
ABOUT VERONICA
Veronica Massa offers unique multisensory soundscape experiences bringing the healing power of sound into ritual and ceremony. In her Sacred Sound Ceremonies, she integrates the ancient Temple Tradition of Sacred Scents - using Sacred Oils and ancient resins - connecting to the spirit medicine and soul essence of plants. She is the creatrix of Sothis Sacred Oils and founder of Sothis Temple where Sacred Art, Sacred Scents and Sacred Sounds meet in unison to celebrate life, nourish the soul and nurture healing and spiritual growth. www.sothistemple.com. Veronica is a visionary artist Spirit inspired and a multidisciplinary intuitive healer; in the past two decades she gathered experience in the Holistic Healing Arts and as a workshop facilitator.
Learn more about Veronica Nilah https://sothistemple.com/my-journey
 
WHAT IS SACRED SOUND
Everything is frequency and in a state of vibration. All matter vibrates at specific frequencies, including our body, our organs and the cells in our body. We are in optimal health and wellbeing when we have a normal resonant frequency, but if that frequency begins to shift then that part of our body is vibrating out of ease, we say it is dis-eased. This is basically the principle of using sound as a transformational and healing tool: “Sound can change molecular structure” restoring that part of the body back into its healthy resonance to repair damaged tissue and cells within the body and reinstate the harmonious energetic, emotional and mental function. The impact of Sound on human cells has been extensively studied since the ’80 but we also know that the ancient Mystery schools held a deep knowledge of sound and vibrational medicine, using sonic energy for healing and to achieve altered states of consciousness.
A sound immersion bathes you in deep relaxation restoring self-alignment, synchronizing the brainwaves and facilitating the rehabilitation of your cells to normal vibratory frequency, or to resonance which is your original vibratory frequency.

In the previous 2 articles we have explored how our mind shapes our reality. We also looked at how our actions (training) can shape our mind and body.

Going a bit deeper into the psyche, I wanted to talk about the nature of Responsibility and how the patterns of our mind lead to goodwill (grace) or ill-will (shame).

Feeling overwhelmed?

I came from struggle. Not that I had any physical needs unmet. I definitely did not come from wealth, however I always had shelter and plenty of food. (At least until my uni days. :D )

However, mental struggle was my normality.

I felt overwhelmed on a daily basis. Life, or rather the people around me were too much to handle.

So I developed an avoidant relationship with responsibility.

Not to say that I was not a caring and kind child. I think those qualities have been with me and strengthened by my family and teachers over the years.

Yet, due to the overwhelm, I tried to avoid taking any additional responsibility. To the extent of having difficulty with making decisions even about what I want to eat. Indecision.

Now everyone's story is slightly different, however I see a lot of overwhelm and avoidance in my clinical practice.
We will come back to this shortly..

On Shame..

When someone feels overwhelmed, their reality becomes an unsafe environment for them. 
In such situations the brain is forced to 'think their way out' of this non-safety. It is looking for an escape route.

This seeking, or rather avoiding usually leads us down the path of shame and guilt. Being brought up in a very critical and unkind environment, naturally enhances our mental story of not being enough.

Those shameful internalised voices are further strengthened by the constant overwhelm, where we rationalize our inability of handling our 'unsafe' environment as shameful.

Often we also develop a deep desire to help those suffering around us. However as someone incapable of fulfilling their own needs, we often feel guilty for not being able to help others.

Thus we naturally start to associate our self-worth with how we feel in relation to other people.

This is crucial to understand. Our feelings have an effect on our worldview. Our nervous system is wired in a way to protect us, even if that results in us feeling shameful on a daily basis.

Children are very sensitive to suffering. And they do not have the logical understanding that it is not their responsibility to help adult figures. So the guilt deepens.

Naturally a child cannot control their environment. However as an adult, we definitely have the power to make (even if the tiniest) changes in our life.
Please keep reading on...

So how does shame and guilt affect us?

Think of yourself like your phone battery. When you go on about your day, feeling okay, your battery will slowly drain but it probably still be around a comfortable 30% when you retire to bed.

Now think of running apps on your phone. Editing videos, playing games, running an antivirus program whilst also watching a movie.

The more app you run on your phone concurrently, the quicker it will drain the battery.

Emotions and mental rumination do the same to us humans.

When we feel unsafe in our environment, the mind automatically keeps running an (antivirus) app to scan for danger around us.

Whenever a threat is found, our mind will start (Google) searching for all the possible reasons of how it might hurt us.

Then our brain has to come up with a coping mechanism. 
So the brain runs another app for distractions (Netflix or social media) or even a special app for dissociation (avoidance of sensations and emotions). 

All of these further and further drain our energy, and feed into our mental story of 'I cannot do anything about it'. A.k.a, Mental despair.

Naturally when one is overwhelmed and also exhausted, they will find ways to avoid further responsibility. Including looking after themselves.

Goodwill or ill-will?

I had a mini-breakthrough after listening to one of Ajahn Brahm's (Buddhist monk) talk on ill-will and compassion.

It is so obvious, yet easy to miss:
Entertaining shameful thoughts is an act of ill-will.

It is literally an activity which results in our own direct suffering, or the indirect hurt we cause to other people around us.

It is as simple as that. We must find omni-directional kindness within ourselves, in order to reduce the suffering (us and them).

Grace is defined as courteous good will.

Some Christian traditions define it as unmerited favour, kindness, and mercy. 

In Buddhism, a close equivalent may be compassion. The resolve to connect and accept one that may or may not be favourable to us.

In my opinion, regardless if you are a person of faith or not, Grace or compassion is the way for us to resolve those deeply engrained patterns of ill-will.

Thus, it is our primary responsibility to look after ourselves. As that is the only way we can truly care for others.

How can we get there?

Faith has been an options for thousands of years.
Today you also have a choice to seek help from others to strengthen your muscles of compassion.
Looking to feel better in your body?

Please reach out by email to enquire about your first Holistic Coaching session!

Available both in person and online.

I love having a variety of different tools in my 'life toolkit' and these are my favourite go to tools!  As I was writing them down it made me realise who the vast majority of them are for down-regulating my nervous system.  Sometimes my practices as higher energy, activating and releasing but more often than not they help me to balance the fast pace of juggling a busy London life 😆

Movement & Music - both of these, without fail, help me come back into my body and ground me.  Whether it's soothing music and yin yoga, something more uptempo and Vinyasa yoga or resistance training or an all out disco for one and shaking my tail feathers, EVERYTHING feels better afterwards!

Nature - plugging into Mother Earth always soothes my soul and settles my mind and nervous system 💚 I feel really grateful I live near a beautiful forest.   I love seeing the seasonal changes and how the little buds are starting to peek through now!  My go to 'happy place' is always the sea 💙. I can happily while away hours watching and listening to the sound of waves and contemplating the vastness of the oceans.
 
Pranayama & Breathwork - a topic I could talk about for days!  It's our most accessible 'tool' that has the quickest impact on our nervous system and it's totally free!!!  I regularly check in with how I'm breathing and where I'm breathing into.  I often catch myself when I'm in a stressful moment and take a moment to reset my breathing and take a long slow breath.   Here is a breathing meditation I shared a few years ago that always helps me.
https://youtu.be/Z00E7bFmua0?si=44XQPprHUwPUHJfm
 
Meditation - my main practice is Vipasanna but I also love Yoga Nidra and listen to a variety of wonderful teachers.  This particular Yoga Nidra is one I am currently recommending to my clients and friends as I find I always feel so present and calm afterwards. 
https://insig.ht/iyHo2EndERb
 
Journaling - The Morning Pages is a practice I come back to time and time again.  I was introduced  to this journaling practice via a yoga teacher mentoring program many years ago and found it to be a real game changer.   It helps clear the mental chatter and clutter and I notice improved mental clarity and feel much more spacious and clear.
 

How can Tai chi help to build resilience and confidence?
 
As a therapist of the Eastern arts, I have come across many modalities that help people grow, become more confident, resilient and overall content with their life.

I am generally fascinated by both psychology, medicine and eastern philosophy. Yet, what I would call the most powerful tool in my toolbox would -hands down- be Tai chi.
 
It is a martial art that goes way beyond the martial and directly creates a reflective experience where healthy resilience naturally grows.
 
Resilience is the fruit of effort. The work resulting in mental, physical and emotional strength and pliability, leading to self-confidence.
 
One of the fundamental aspects of Tai chi is the engagement of the mind within the body.
 
So how does it help us build resilience?
 
When you practice the art, you are asked to leave all other thoughts and feelings behind. Instead, allow the mind to saturate into the flesh. This develops mindfulness of the body.
 
When you go through the practice of body opening/loosening, it requires sustained mental effort to meet your discomfort. To look compassionately and intimately towards your own limits. Maintaining awareness and acceptance. This develops mental fortitude.
 
During the standing meditations, you first of all create a structure which you must hold for a period of time. Within this structure you relax and release the muscles, thus your habitual tensions. You experience sensations and connections that you have never felt before. This creates a change in your perception and gently pulls you out of your general one-sided thinking. Opening the mind and body.
 
In both seated and standing meditation, you work on maintaining your focus in one physical/energetic location. This develops attention and one pointed focus.
 
Whilst practicing the form/moves, your brain will keep shouting and shaming you for not doing it correctly. You are forced to face your critical self and develop a new, compassionate relation with it. This develops your character, balance and coordination.
 
The constant effort to maintain awareness in the body, whilst experiencing a multitude of sensations, both pleasant and unpleasant, builds a doorway to your nervous system, which you have control over once you have developed enough awareness
 
You can choose to fight it, flee from it or simply accept it for what it is. This builds direct resilience in the nervous system.
 
You see, it is very difficult to get through life without resilience.
 
But we are so lucky to have a tool (and I am sure there are others out there as well) which builds:
 
- the strength and resilience of mind,
- the fortitude and flexibility of the body,
- the stillness and openness of the heart
 
Whilst also balancing our energetic body and the nervous system.
 
Furthermore, throughout the partner drills we also have the opportunity to work on how we relate to one another. How we respond to the touch, emotions and thoughts of others. This is a big part of developing resilience.
 
Thus, we become strong and kind towards our internal and external environments. This is true resilience.
 
Maybe now you can understand why my passion lies so deep in this art.. :)
 
Looking to build resilience into your life?
I am currently running 2 beginner friendly courses in Crystal Palace:
 
Mondays: 18:30 – 19:30
Tuesdays 18:00-19:00
 
- Small groups of around 8-10 people
- Hands on corrections
- Always welcome to ask questions
 
Investment: £12.50 per class
Location: Kin Wellbeing studio and Crystal Palace Osteopaths

Excited to try something new to change and/or grow resilience in your life?
 
Please email me at
[email protected]
Or WhatsApp me on:
07308889603
 
Looking forward to meeting many of you at class,
Miha

Coaching: From Shame to Freedom – A Holistic Journey to Healing

Shame and guilt are emotions that can quietly run our lives, but there is a way to move from shame to freedom. As a holistic therapist (Acupuncture, Massage, Tai Chi, Qigong, Coaching), I integrate ancient healing techniques with modern coaching to help you release those heavy burdens. This article will explore how holistic coaching can assist you in overcoming shame, so the pain can transform into empowerment, offering you a gentle, compassionate path to emotional freedom.

How Does Shame Affect Your Life and Well-Being?

Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion, often showing up as feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Whether triggered by past mistakes, societal pressures, or internalized judgment, shame can weigh us down, keeping us trapped in harmful patterns of thought and behavior.

When I began my own journey of self-compassion, I realized how much shame had been quietly shaping my life. I thought I had cleared most of the debris, but during the past year, I had to acknowledge that some of my core beliefs still carried the heavy burden of shame. Once I started addressing how I related to myself and my environment, I began to experience lightness and freedom in my own life.

How Can Online Coaching Help You Overcome and Release Shame?

One of the most effective ways to work through shame is by acknowledging and accepting it for what it is. This may sound counterintuitive, but getting closer to the discomfort is key. In coaching, we create a safe and accepting environment. Gently embracing our vulnerabilities helps us to let those shameful parts come to light. You don’t have to carry that weight forever.

Just as in Tai Chi or Qigong, where you embrace discomfort to release it, coaching helps you engage with these emotions in a safe way. Together, we identify where the stuck energy lies—those “anchors” that have held you down for years.

What Is Radical Self-Compassion, and How Can It Help Overcome Shame?

Radical compassion is an essential tool in the healing process. It involves offering complete self-acceptance (Maitri, in the Buddhist traditions) and kindness to yourself, especially to the parts of you that you may not like or feel most vulnerable. It’s about meeting your shame with curiosity, not judgment.
I used to struggle with perfectionism, which was deeply rooted in shame. I thought that if I didn’t perform perfectly, I wasn’t worthy. Through practising radical self-compassion, I began to accept those parts of me that felt ashamed. I even gave my inner critical judge a name—the ‘shamer’—to soften the relationship with it. Think of the “Shame Bell” scene from Game of Thrones. By embracing my imperfections, I was able to release unrealistic expectations and feel a deeper sense of freedom.

How Can Chinese Medicine Support Emotional Healing and Release Shame?

Chinese Medicine, with its ancient wisdom, offers an almost magical (yet widely researched) approach to addressing emotions like shame and guilt. In Chinese philosophy, emotions are connected to different organs in the body. For example, shame is often linked to an imbalance in the Liver, Heart, and Kidney energy.

By addressing specific organs and meridians, Chinese Medicine works to restore balance in the whole person—body, mind, and spirit—releasing stuck emotions that may have shaped your personality over time.

Would you like to read more about how Acupuncture and Acupressure can help with shame? [Click here to learn more about emotional healing through Chinese Medicine.]

How Can Qigong and Tai Chi Help Build Self-Confidence and Heal Shame?

Both Qigong and Tai Chi are gentle, yet appropriately challenging, forms of movement that focus on unity. These practices integrate the body and mind, leading to an increasing quality of stillness and harmony. Over time, this helps form a deeper sense of self-confidence and creates a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

Certain Qigong exercises are also immensely helpful in balancing internal organs, directly addressing emotional imbalances. I often suggest these practices in my coaching sessions to enhance the release of shame by engaging the body and breath. It’s not about becoming an expert—it’s about creating a safe space to practice compassion and acceptance while remaining open and reflective.

How Does Coaching Help Break Negative Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism and Avoidance?

Many of us develop maladaptive coping strategies to avoid discomfort, including shame. These strategies might include perfectionism, avoidance, addiction, or self-sabotage. Coaching provides a space where we explore these coping mechanisms, understand why they formed, and develop healthier ways of dealing with life’s challenges.

For example, one of my clients used to be avoidant in expressing themselves to their parents. This avoidance was a shield, protecting them from vulnerability. Once they understood this, they were able to develop new habits, deepen their connection with their parents, and create a sense of compassion for their own needs and emotions.

Why Is Practicing Self-Compassion Essential for Healing Shame?

Self-compassion is the foundation for healing from shame. It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend or loved one. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been your own harshest critic for a long time.

In our coaching sessions, we work to build your “muscles of compassion.” You’ll learn to soften your inner dialogue, forgive yourself for mistakes, and embrace your imperfections. This daily practice will help counteract the harsh inner critic that often fuels shame.

We’ll also explore the core beliefs and perceptions that contribute to your inner critique, helping you see the world—and yourself—with more clarity.

How Can Coaching Help You Embrace Your Authentic Self and Heal Emotionally?

Coaching is an adventure of self-discovery, not just a way to fix what’s wrong. It’s about finding healthier ways to be fully present and take up your rightful space in the world. It’s about discovering the hidden parts of yourself that shame has buried.

I often see a pattern where people feel they must hide parts of themselves because they don’t feel “good enough.” The truth is, when we fully embrace our shadow sides, they dissolve, leaving behind gems we can use to help ourselves and others.

How Does Holistic Coaching Differ from Traditional Therapy in Overcoming Shame?

Traditional therapy often focuses on talking through problems to understand the whys. Holistic coaching integrates mind, body, and spirit to help discover the what’s, that can bring about meaningful change.

In our sessions, we won’t just talk about shame. We’ll explore how it impacts your body, energy, and daily life. Practices like meditation, movement, reflective writing, and energy work will support your healing journey in a practical and empowering way.

How Can You Start Your Journey to Overcome Shame and Find Emotional Freedom?

Letting go of shame is a journey, but you don’t have to take it alone. In our holistic coaching sessions, we’ll co-create a space where you can feel safe to explore your emotions, release what no longer serves you (overcoming shame), and step into a more empowered version of yourself.

When I first began my healing journey, I didn’t realize how much support I needed. Today, as I continue working through the remnants of my shame with the help of others, I’m finding freedom in ways I never thought possible.

Ready to start Overcoming Shame and Step Into Freedom with Holistic Coaching?

If you’re ready to release shame and embrace a life of compassion, joy, and freedom, I invite you to explore coaching with me. Together, we’ll work to create a life where you feel empowered, whole, and inspired for the future.

Do you have any questions or feel ready to rumble? [Click here to contact me for more information about coaching sessions.]

With AI swooping in to take over many jobs and roles I feel lucky to be confident that there is nothing that compares – or could compare – to the interpersonal connection and physical contact of a massage. The relationship with your therapist is part of this, a person you share with and ask for help – this can be a vulnerable and fairly intimate action, especially when it is followed by undressing! You place your trust in the therapist and the therapist – good ones anyway – will respond by basing their massage on the information you gave them and the feedback you give them through the treatment, from direct questions about the pressure to intuitive sensing of where you are holding tension that you are not even aware of.

This relationship may be a one off or it may be one that lasts over many weeks, months and years. I have left massage sessions feeling enlivened, enthused, exhausted, delighted, excited, understood, supported, connected, soothed and sometimes pummelled 😊 Sometimes I am sore, sometimes I feel like I’m hungover the next day or two, sometimes I feel like I could run like a gazelle and sometimes like I could sleep for a week. I always get something from the session, often disproportionate to the hour that I spent having it. I learn about my body, I enjoy some rapport with some therapists and rare silence with others.
I will never stop getting massages from a good therapist and I am looking forward to getting back to the privileged position of giving them next year after a long hiatus having children and relocating.

In between massages I crave more and I also sometimes have to go longer periods between them when funds and/or time are tight so I have built up an array of things to see me through. I can do some self massage of course and often do on my forearms especially, but I often just wish it was someone else's hands and prefer to use tools, especially for getting into trickier to reach spots. These are my favourites (and links are just to show where I bought them, no affiliations!):

And now in getting the links from this blog I've spotted a foot massager so my birthday money might have a new purpose...that's one for next time!
Happy massaging!

I thought to share a few stories from my clinic so you can have a better understanding of what Acupuncture can help with. As well as to provide a gentle introduction to how it works.
Relief for constipation and other bowel issues is a remarkable and frequent outcome of such treatments.

Over the years I am starting to figure out that the body is truly amazing. It really is a wonderful ‘machinery’ that often needs only a little nudge in order to recover. As long as one has sufficient vital substances – Blood, Qi and Essence (talk about those in a later post) – it will recover rather quickly.

When it comes to treating bowel issues such as constipation, diarrhoea, inflammation and such Acupuncture can have a quick reliving effect – whilst it may take longer to re-establish proper internal harmony in case of chronic conditions.
One of my clients came to me recently complaining about the inability to empty their bowels properly for almost a week. Although their main complaint was different, something like this can often be incorporated into the treatment.
I used a combination of 2 points located on the Stomach channel, whilst other points were used to support the underlying conditions.

The acu-point, Stomach 37 was needled and gently stimulated. This is a point which has a strong effect on the bowels through the connection of the digestive organs of the Stomach and the Large Intestine, which is mainly responsible for the appropriate elimination and further absorption of nutrients.
As you can read in the other article -click on the link above-, it is also a majorly useful point to generally assist IBS and it’s related symptoms.

I also used acupressure on Stomach 25 which has been observed to have a very strong effect on the Intestines. Via the aforementioned connection, this point is able to strengthen and enhance the natural function of the Stomach and Spleen, which is responsible for the transportaion and transformation of nutrients.

Although I worked fairly gently on these points, the client reported having a ‘big clear-out’ the same day.
Of course, no 2 people have the exact same needs. The beauty of Chinese Medicine lies in its ability to show what needs to be done for the person in front of us in that given moment.
Sometimes the body only needs a few gentle yet precise inputs in order to start making steps towards equilibrium.

Still running
 
In my previous blog I had just taken up running regularly as a vehicle for keeping mind and mental state in good health. So here is a little update a few months along deep into mid-winter.
 
I am still running - three times most weeks, for about 40 minutes and really enjoying it. The after-effect of brightness and energy in mind and body, even if the actual run sometimes felt like hard work, is really very nice.
 
It definitely has been harder to get up when it’s dark and out of the door in the mornings during the winter. North is in my blood so temperature is not a deterrent and frosty ground a more pleasant experience than the mudslides our parks often turned into this time of the year and I also quite enjoy getting out in bad weather, better running than walking in the rain. Then afterwards it’s so nice to get back in and indoors feels lovely dry and warm. It’s more the general tiredness of January and winter with its short days, a time when, if possible, it’s okay to linger a little longer in bed and take it a bit slower.
 
This coming week, February 1st, marks the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox. This day is also called Imbolc or st Bridgids day.  From now on the acceleration in daylight per day is becoming more noticeable week by week. Amusingly, this day has lately gain notoriety due to an increased interest in old Irish and Gaelic traditions, a side effect from the many Brits looking into Irish roots in pursuit of a passport in the wake of Brexit and is now celebrated in several places in London.
 
When it comes to avoiding slipping into depression, one of the purposes of the running regime, it is obviously impossible to know and compare how I would have felt if had not been running regularly. The dread and despair that I often experience around this time of the year, so familiar and recognisable I know it will pass, like a winter season of mind, but sometimes it sticks and turns into depression. This year it feels okay.
 
The structure of running is helpful and having regular dose of joy and satisfaction from keeping up with the commitment is good mood boost but the sense of strength and vitality is the biggest benefit I experienced so far.